In a digital age it seems like more and more individuals in relationships are being broken up with via text message. There are countless websites that talk about when it’s ok to break up with someone via text message, often saying when it’s a relationship that hasn’t lasted long and/or a very negative relationship. The majority says that the general consensus is that it’s the cowardly thing to do. I today wanted to share my perspective of being broken up with three times digitally as someone on the autism spectrum.
As a professional speaker who has 2 books and publications online, living in this digital age, one of the first things people find out about me is that I’m on the autism spectrum. The majority of the time I don’t get the opportunity to disclose my diagnosis because it’s brought up by a date/girlfriend within the first few dates I’m on. When this conversation comes up one of the first things I mention, like clock work, is the need for open and honest conversations to avoid misunderstandings. It wasn’t always my line of thinking but today it’s something I truly believe in.
After almost a decade of dating these situations have happened to me three times in total in relationships…
The first time I was broken up with was via Facebook message after a year-and-a-half relationship.
The second time I was broken up with was text message via a 4-and-a-half month relationship and later ‘ghosted’ shortly there after when trying to reconcile. I later asked to meet in person to discuss but was rejected that interaction.
The third time I was broken up with via text message was almost a year into our relationship. Even though we got back together later, it was still a difficult thing to swallow. Months later, the second time around she would break up with me in person, a type of closure and common courtesy I believe is important to have.
Sadly, each of these times I dealt with anxiety and sensory overload. These are things I had to deal with earlier in my adolescence while I was on the spectrum and sometimes face today to a lesser degree. There was no closure and the majority of each message was only a paragraph long.
I get worried that based on the path we are living, that many of my mentees who have special needs, when they are looking at getting into a relationship, and because of the road our digital age is coming too may soon face potential break ups via blog posts, Google hangouts or just by simply ignoring that person completely (AKA ghosting).
Rejection is something that happens to all of us at one point or another whether in our personal or professional lives. The trouble I face is when people on the spectrum such as myself feel confused and upset when a situation is not explained. This is something I hope no one, regardless of being on the spectrum or not will ever have to face.
Kerry Magro is an award-winning professional speaker and best-selling author who’s on the autism spectrum. Kerry regularly speaks at schools, businesses, parent groups, nonprofit organizations and other special events on topics ranging from but not limited too disability, innovation, school bullying, the power of communication, diversity, workplace bullying, servant leadership and much more! For his efforts, Kerry has been been featured in major media and worked with amazing brands including CBS News, Inside Edition, Upworthy and Huffington Post among others. Know of a group that would like to have Kerry speak? Have them reach out to Kerry at Kerrymagro.com/contact!