This guest post is by Kelvin Marcano, a young man on the autism spectrum who was diagnosed with Asperger’s at 3 years old and has been accepted into Hostos Community College. Kelvin is applying for the Spring 2022 Making a Difference Autism Scholarship via the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference started by me, Kerry Magro. I was nonverbal till 2.5 and diagnosed with autism at 4, and you can read more about my organization here. Autistics on Autism: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams, our nonprofit’s new book, was released on March 29, 2022, on Amazon here for our community to enjoy featuring the stories of 100 autistic adults.
I know, you’re probably thinking: “Wow, that guy is acting way out of the ordinary — is there something wrong with him?” Short answer, no. Long answer? Let’s just say my behavior has always been unique or unorthodox. For example, I would use antics that were meant to get a reaction from my peers and would cause eyes to gaze in my direction, just to gain attention. As you can tell, I was very different from the average Joe. I don’t necessarily see it as a curse, but rather a lifestyle that is a defining feature of my character. Believe me, there have been times when I’ve felt like I was a freak of nature, and that no one would accept me for who I am. I say this because in middle and high school, I often felt ignored, and it felt like I was either misunderstood or even subtly disliked. No one seemed willing to even attempt to connect with me or see the good I possessed, and it made me feel like an outcast of society.
Back in middle school, my behavior was very erratic because I was incredibly desperate for approval; at the time, I was more concerned about public opinions than anything else. I wanted to be accepted, and if I couldn’t achieve that, I at least wanted the attention. In turn, not only did this lifestyle choice cause my grades to suffer during school, but it also completely ruined my mindset. You’re probably thinking, is this the end? Would I ever be able to pull myself together and right my wrongs? Well, I’ll tell you.
It took me a long time to learn that life isn’t about the opinions of the masses, that it isn’t about being what they want you to be. It’s about you and what you can do to improve yourself, to be yourself in a crowd of living cliches. I learned not to follow the popular crowd, since it feels like getting caught in a web and being herded like a sheep. What I am trying to convey is that while it’s only natural for people to have their own individual opinions about you, that doesn’t mean that you have to value them or prove anything to these people. When I was a junior in high school, I realized that I wanted to really apply all of this to my own life, and that I wanted to make some changes to feel more comfortable in my own skin.
The first step was to try and build my confidence and faith in myself, so I felt like I needed to seek advice from a supportive figure. I decided to talk to my dad about how I was feeling when I was in school. What stood out to me in our little session was these words: “Be a leader, not a follower.” Imbued with the power of this advice, I set out on a daring quest to right my wrongs, and since I had no one at school to assist me in this matter I got to work with the tool I was given. When I started this initiative, I would actively look for tasks that involved taking responsible risks, like participating in class whenever possible. I kept doing this until it became a habit, and I eventually went from answering questions to leading full-fledged presentations. In the end, my confidence grew in strength, to unbelievable heights, and that eventually helped me improve my social skills. In time I felt very successful academically as well as socially.
Once I’d learned how to let go of what other people thought of me, and learned to focus more on myself, I felt empowered both in and outside of school. As I learned to see the best in myself and to accept myself for who I am, my whole outlook changed. My point is regardless of your flaws, your failures, your strengths, your weaknesses, you are always competent and capable, no matter the situation that you face.
Follow my journey on Facebook, my Facebook Fan Page, Tiktok, Youtube & Instagram,
My name is Kerry Magro, a professional speaker and best-selling author who is also on the autism spectrum. I started the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference in 2011 to help students with autism receive scholarship aid to pursue post-secondary education. Help support me so I can continue to help students with autism go to college by making a tax-deductible donation to our nonprofit here.
Autistics on Autism: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams was released on March 29, 2022 on Amazon here for our community to enjoy featuring the stories of 100 autistic adults. 100% of the proceeds from this book will go back to our nonprofit to support initiatives like our autism scholarship program. In addition, this autistic adult’s essay you just read will be featured in a future volume of this book as we plan on making this into a series of books on autistic adults.
