This guest post is by Francine Wooley, a young woman on the autism spectrum who was diagnosed with Asperger’s/ASD in 2018 and has been accepted into Marist College. Francine is applying for the Spring 2022 Making a Difference Autism Scholarship via the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference started by me, Kerry Magro. I was nonverbal till 2.5 and diagnosed with autism at 4, and you can read more about my organization here. Autistics on Autism: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams, our nonprofit’s new book, was released on March 29, 2022, on Amazon here for our community to enjoy featuring the stories of 100 autistic adults.
I was diagnosed with Asperger’s at the age of fourteen. Some assumed I was defective and a lost cause before my diagnosis; the constant rejection, criticism, and bullying I endured due to my difference caused me depression, severe anxiety, and low self-esteem. My parents took me through three schools to find the right fit; they always suspected I was different–I was socially awkward, had intense interests, and did not quite understand proper communication. Eventually, after several months of searching, they found a small school dedicated to helping kids with differences, such as dyslexia, ADHD, executive functioning disorder, autism, and many others. I was enrolled in the fall of my eighth-grade year. That started a new journey of self-discovery and acceptance.
Most people seem comfortable having conversations in small groups but put them on a stage in front of a crowd and they quiver and wilt. It makes sense. On stage, all eyes are on you under those lights—more focus, more scrutiny, and more judgment. I’m not sure, but for me, it has always been the opposite. On stage I am confident. I know who I am. I know my lines. But, put me in a casual hallway conversation with a small group of my peers and I shrink. I doubt myself. I open my mouth to speak, but what comes out is a shaking breath of air. It is unscripted mayhem.
For as long as I can remember, I have always been an avid performer. I have acted in front of hundreds of spectators. However, the simplest of basic social conversations was a task I struggled to master. Conversations with peers were awkward and challenging for me. I was comfortable in all my other environments—the classroom, the pool, the theatre, but not in the hallways of my school.
In class, I am in my element. I love the most challenging academic courses where the subject matter tests my thinking, and I study for hours to master the content. I love athletics like swimming and cross-country, where it’s me versus the clock and I can practice intensely to drop seconds. However, for much of my life, when it came to social situations, I have felt unprepared, and beyond the hope that any amount of rehearsal could get me ready. In casual conversation, it was as if my partner went off-script or I had forgotten my lines.
As I was trying to comprehend the navigation of the social world, my love for animation and the arts blossomed. In those worlds, everyone knew what to say. I didn’t know it at the time, but cartoons, films, and televised shows became my Cliffs Notes. I watched these shows and animations, observing the pace of a conversation and learning how the characters interacted. With these tutorials, I slowly began to understand the art of a conversation—the dialogue, the expressions, and the banter. These fictional scenarios were helping me inch toward holding conversations without a predictable path.
I laugh to think about it now, but My Little Pony was an important part of my formative years—leading me to some basic social skills as well as hooking me on animation. I was enthralled, and my fascination led to a much longer than normal connection to this show and those like it. Though I did eventually move on, the appreciation those early animations gave me for storytelling with light, sound, and characters lives on.
I am aware that getting sucked into a screen or device for hours can be unhealthy. However, animation was my solace during a period of social isolation. It was a welcome diversion from the pain of struggling to fit in, even if it could be isolating in its own way. Eventually, though, in eighth grade, I began opening up. I joined a drama club, which gave me an outlet for my pent-up need to connect. The drama club introduced me to people similar to me—aspiring thespians with a quirky love for art, animation, and other kinds of entertainment. It was the next step in my journey—a bridge between the screen and the high school hallways.
Currently, I have found a tribe that admires and appreciates me. I like to keep in mind that animation gave me a start on my social journey, a journey that continues today. I believe, and I hope, that through animation, I can provide younger people similar to me with a story to inspire them to move forward and strive through adversity. I wish I could say that I have mastered the social world, but I’m still working on it. You could say I’m still going over my lines.
Follow my journey on Facebook, my Facebook Fan Page, Tiktok, Youtube & Instagram,
My name is Kerry Magro, a professional speaker and best-selling author who is also on the autism spectrum. I started the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference in 2011 to help students with autism receive scholarship aid to pursue post-secondary education. Help support me so I can continue to help students with autism go to college by making a tax-deductible donation to our nonprofit here.
Autistics on Autism: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams was released on March 29, 2022 on Amazon here for our community to enjoy featuring the stories of 100 autistic adults. 100% of the proceeds from this book will go back to our nonprofit to support initiatives like our autism scholarship program. In addition, this autistic adult’s essay you just read will be featured in a future volume of this book as we plan on making this into a series of books on autistic adults.
