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My Not-So-Standard Deviation from the Mean

This guest post is by Lily Herron, a young woman on the autism spectrum who was diagnosed with ASD at age 17 and was accepted into Wayne State University. Lily is applying for the Spring 2023 Making a Difference Autism Scholarship via the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference started by me, Kerry Magro. I was nonverbal till 2.5 and diagnosed with autism at 4 and you can read more about my organization here. Autistics on Autism: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams, our nonprofit’s new book, was released on March 29, 2022 on Amazon here for our community to enjoy featuring the stories of 100 autistic adults.

“Are you bothered by loud crowds?”

The crowd roars as the silhouette moves downstage, anticipation radiating throughout the stadium. Lights flash and music rattles the floor, but while others feel the rush of adrenaline through their veins, I feel like crawling out of my skin and returning to the comfort of my bedroom. No matter how much I listen to Ariana Grande’s music, her concert is the last place I want to be right now.

“Do you ever get so caught up in something you love that it feels as if all time stops?”

The battle intensified as my opponent drew her sword from her side. I don’t even remember how I got to this point, but all I know is that I’m here now and I will do what it takes to survive. I raise my sword and lunge, aiming straight for my opponent’s heart. She’s taken by surprise as- “Lily, we’re going to be late! Get downstairs!” my mom shouts, reminding me I am not Jude Duarte in the High Court of Faerie. I close the cover of The Cruel Prince and scramble down the stairs to start another day.

After years of struggling with social anxiety, my therapist had suggested I undergo neuropsychological testing. So there I sat, answering this wide spectrum of oddly relatable questions. I didn’t really know what I was being tested for since I had already been diagnosed and treated for my anxiety. When the doctors reached their conclusions months later though, I couldn’t say I didn’t see the results coming. I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. While many people in my shoes may have found this news unsettling or upsetting, I found it comforting. It gave me a deeper insight into myself and the way I think and function. Once I was finally able to understand myself, I stopped looking for society to give me the answer I thought I was looking for.

I have always been passionate about my education and learning in general, but other people my age were having parties and having fun, not studying extra subjects regardless if they earned a letter grade or not. However, once my diagnosis was presented, I realized that conforming to society wouldn’t work for me. People have all sorts of different ways they process and execute things, I just happen to deviate a little farther from normal than the majority. With this in mind, I decided to stop holding back. This past July, I enrolled in a summer internship dedicated to public health and educating others. Everyone in my life thought I was crazy for taking on such a workload in the middle of summer, and telling them that this was my idea of fun emphasized my deviation from the normal. However, I was too excited to care about their opinions because I was finally doing something I wanted to do, and it felt freeing.

So, I reflected back on my fixation on books, and I realized that I connected to the heroes so much because they like to fight against the “normal” and be true to themselves. I still get lost in stories from time to time, but I don’t use them as a shield anymore, I go out into the world and I live the life I want to live. In other words, I have become the main character and carry my confidence like a sword.

Follow my journey on Facebook, my Facebook Fan PageTiktokYoutube & Instagram. 

 

My name is Kerry Magro, a professional speaker and best-selling author who is also on the autism spectrum that started the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference in 2011 to help students with autism receive scholarship aid to pursue post-secondary education. Help support me so I can continue to help students with autism go to college by making a tax-deductible donation to our nonprofit here.

Autistics on Autism: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams, was released on March 29, 2022 on Amazon here for our community to enjoy featuring the stories of 100 autistic adults. 100% of the proceeds from this book go back to our nonprofit to support initiatives like our autism scholarship program. In addition, this autistic adult’s essay you just read will be featured in a future volume of this book as we plan on making this into a series of books on autistic adults. 

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Kerry Magro

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About Me

I used to have severe nonverbal autism. Today I’m a full-time professional speaker & best-selling author and autism-film consultant.

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I started a nonprofit to educate on neurodiversity and help give students with autism scholarships to go to college.

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