This guest post is by Emma Shaw, a young woman on the autism spectrum who was diagnosed with ASD at age 17 and has been accepted into Montclair State University. Emma is applying for the Spring 2023 Making a Difference Autism Scholarship via the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference started by me, Kerry Magro. I was nonverbal till 2.5 and diagnosed with autism at 4 and you can read more about my organization here. Autistics on Autism: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams, our nonprofit’s new book, will be released on March 29, 2022 on Amazon here for our community to enjoy featuring the stories of 100 autistic adults.
When I was a young girl I wanted nothing more than to be normal. I grew up in a small town where most families were well-known by everyone, most kids were friends and would play into the early evenings, but I was always left out. I was mocked throughout my childhood for my strange behavior and actions. I had a speech impediment due to being nonverbal until Kindergarten and I had stimming behavior such as rocking back and forth while sitting, pacing around when anxious, picking at my nails and fingertips, and more. I was also very obsessive as a child, latching onto tv shows or music, and devoting my whole world to them as long as the obsession continued.
As I matured into middle school, I found myself depressed by the bullying I received. I was homeschooled for two years in Middle School because I couldn’t handle the social pressures of interacting with other students. However, I didn’t have enough disciple to do my schoolwork on my own and I was sent back to school for my freshman year of high school. I consider the four years I spent in high school to be the worst four years of my life.
Every day inside that school was torture for me. I was ridiculed for everything, I could barley brush my hair or will myself to wear anything other than pajamas, I was practically a shadow of a person. I didn’t speak or do my work, and eventually I just stopped going. When I was younger, I had such big aspirations of moving to a big city like New York and living a life filled with joy and adventure, but my grim life seemed as though it was about to end. I had nearly given up completely. My mom, though, refused to give up on me. She and I always shared a very special bond and in my senior year, she pressure my counselor to accelerate my courses to help me graduate early. At first, we were all doubtful, but seeing the fire in her eyes ignited a spark in mine, and I managed to graduate six months early.
Less than a month after I had officially graduated high school, at the age of seventeen, I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. At first, it was bittersweet. I finally had a label to blame for the heartache I experienced as a child. But, the more research that I considered on the disorder, the more I saw it as a blessing instead of a curse. As I learned about the disorder I was able to learn about myself, and in the process, I began to love my small quirks; I loved the quirks caused by my autism. I loved my passion for my special interests, I loved my grand imagination, I loved my skills in the arts and writing, I loved how quickly I could memorized facts and my knowledge of big words, and so much more. I even began to love the nagar I’ve aspects, such as me rocking back and forth or my social awkwardness. I loved these things because they were all apart of the map that depicted me and I found myself loving everything about me that I once hated. My autism diagnosis gave me the greatest gift of all, the gift of self acceptance. And for that, I am eternally grateful.
Follow my journey on Facebook, my Facebook Fan Page, Tiktok, Youtube & Instagram.
My name is Kerry Magro, a professional speaker and best-selling author who is also on the autism spectrum. I started the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference in 2011 to help students with autism receive scholarship aid to pursue post-secondary education. Help support me so I can continue to help students with autism go to college by making a tax-deductible donation to our nonprofit here.
Autistics on Autism: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams was released on March 29, 2022 on Amazon here for our community to enjoy featuring the stories of 100 autistic adults. 100% of the proceeds from this book will go back to our nonprofit to support initiatives like our autism scholarship program. In addition, this autistic adult’s essay you just read will be featured in a future volume of this book as we plan on making this into a series of books on autistic adults.
