This guest post is Dehkontee Jayee, a young woman on the autism spectrum who was accepted into Metro state university in St.Paul Minnesota. Dehkontee is applying for the Spring 2025 Making a Difference Autism Scholarship via the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference started by me, Kerry Magro. I was nonverbal till 2.5 and diagnosed with autism at 4 and you can read more about my organization here.
Autistics on Autism the Next Chapter: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams will be released on Amazon on 3/25/25 and looks at the lives over 75 Autistic adults. 100% of the proceeds from this book will go back to supporting our nonprofits many initiatives, like this scholarship program. Check out the book here.
For 22 years of my life, I navigated the world through an atypical lens, struggling to understand myself and others in a way that only 1% of the global population could potentially comprehend. It wasn’t until the age of 22, after undergoing a series of comprehensive tests and evaluations, that I received the insight that validated my lived experience: I was diagnosed with Autism—this process of gaining clarity marked a turning point in my journey.
Throughout my life, there were signs that I didn’t fit the typical neurotype. The educational and social systems I interacted with were not structured to accommodate me. Despite my immigrant parents’ expectations for success, my struggles to keep up with my neurotypical peers were evident. I faced bullying throughout primary and secondary school, unable to navigate social cues and becoming overwhelmed by anxiety from the pressure of constantly trying to fit in. This anxiety often led to burnout, making school and life feel like an uphill battle.
In academics, I excelled in language arts and social sciences but struggled with subjects like math and science. Taking exams, particularly under pressure, became a monumental challenge. I recall staring at questions that I knew I had studied for, only to feel my mind go blank under the weight of the ticking clock. These academic difficulties followed me into my postsecondary education, where the accommodations I received finally allowed me to perform at my true potential. This experience reinforced the importance of access to the right resources in overcoming barriers caused by my disability.
Living unaccommodated with Autism created immense struggles. I can recall days when I became almost robotic, deconstructing every conversation I had and rehearsing my responses repeatedly so that I might eventually say the right thing—accumulating manufactured social capital to the detriment of my mental health. My internal world was one of constant self-monitoring and second-guessing. There were also periods of self-doubt and internal conflict as I compared my abilities to those of my peers, wondering why tasks that came easily to them seemed insurmountable to me. However, with the right accommodations, I am able to fully embrace my potential. My experience with disability has shaped a unique perspective, motivating me to advocate for marginalized and underserved populations. As an aspiring alcohol and drug counselor, I aim to utilize my lived experience to improve the quality of care for clients, particularly those with disabilities like myself.
Growing up as the sibling of a brother with a more pronounced need for support, I was often overlooked. In our cultural context, there was little understanding of developmental disabilities, and Autism diagnoses historically favored young white boys. This bias meant that children, particularly Black girls like myself, who did not fit this demographic often slipped through the cracks. My experiences of being undiagnosed, paired with the struggles of trying to adapt to an unaccommodating world, were emotionally and mentally taxing.
I knew something about my brain was wired differently. However, I was met with therapists who dismissed my suspicions, suggesting I was “too intelligent to be Autistic” or denying the need for further evaluation. As a result, I suppressed my questions and internalized the belief that my struggles were simply personal failings. It wasn’t until my general practitioner suggested that my sensory discomforts—my aversion to loud noises, bright lights, and certain textures—could be linked to Autism that I began to seek an official diagnosis. Unfortunately, many people remain undiagnosed due to financial constraints or a lack of awareness. I was fortunate to have insurance coverage that allowed me to finance my evaluation. I understand that many individuals, particularly those in low-income communities, are unable to access the services they need, and I view my ability to self-advocate and secure a diagnosis as a privilege.
My journey to self-understanding and advocacy has led me to pursue addiction counseling and public health. Substance use is a significant public health issue, and individuals with disabilities are more likely than the general population to develop substance use disorders. Acknowledging this intersection allows for greater insight into the unique challenges faced by disabled individuals, including those with Autism. By pursuing a career in addiction counseling, I aim to bridge the gap for disabled individuals who face these challenges, ensuring they receive the understanding and support they deserve.
In conclusion, being undiagnosed was the greatest hardship I faced in relation to my disability. However, through self-advocacy, I was able to acquire the diagnosis that now accurately reflects my life experiences. With this diagnosis came access to accommodations, resources, and a clearer understanding of myself. My pursuit of addiction counseling is driven by a passion for supporting disabled communities and ensuring they receive the care and understanding they deserve. By completing my studies, I hope to make a meaningful difference in the lives of others who, like me, have been marginalized by society’s limited understanding of disability.
Kerry Magro, a professional speaker and best-selling author who is also on the autism spectrum started the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference in 2011 to help students with autism receive scholarship aid to pursue a post-secondary education. Help us continue to help students with autism go to college by making a tax-deductible donation to our nonprofit here.
Also, consider having Kerry, one of the only professionally accredited speakers on the spectrum in the country, speak at your next event by sending him an inquiry here. If you have a referral for someone who many want him to speak please reach out as well! Kerry speaks with schools, businesses, government agencies, colleges, nonprofit organizations, parent groups and other special events on topics ranging from employment, how to succeed in college with a learning disability, internal communication, living with autism, bullying prevention, social media best practices, innovation, presentation best practices and much more!
