This guest post is by Elizabeth Pineiro, a young woman accepted to Middlesex College. She is an advocate for the Spring 2025 Making a Difference Autism Scholarship via the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference started by me, Kerry Magro. I was nonverbal till 2.5 and diagnosed with autism at 4 and you can read more about my organization here.
Autistics on Autism the Next Chapter: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams was released on Amazon on 3/25/25 and looks at the lives over 75 Autistic adults. 100% of the proceeds from this book will go back to supporting our nonprofits many initiatives, like this scholarship program. Check out the book here.
Over the past decade, I have been given a lot of advice from the many wonderful people in my life and they have all impacted me in so many different ways. However, there is one particular piece of advice I got that has stuck with me the most and still is part of my daily life.
When I was in first grade, I was diagnosed with Autism, ADHD and Sensory Processing Disorder. By the beginning of second grade, I started what became ten years of behavior therapy. For many years, it was three days per week, but became less over time as I grew up and progressed. At the beginning of my therapy sessions, I would resist and fight back with pretty much everything I was asked to do. My parents had no idea what to do, but my BCBA and therapist kept trying until they came up with something that worked for me.
At seven years old, my two therapists, Miss Lianna and Miss Donna, taught me to that I needed to “be friendly,” which is something that was applied to everything we have done in therapy, but as I have gotten older it has started to apply to a vast majority of things in my life, even if it is as simple as trying something new. “Be friendly” didn’t necessarily mean how I was behaving towards others (although sometimes it did), but it was the skills that I needed to learn in remaining calm, coping with what was difficult for me, and navigating what is going to be the rest of my life. Ten years later, we still use the phrase “Be friendly,” in session and with my family at home in many situations.
When I was younger, I had irrational reactions to just about everything. I would have constant meltdowns over the smallest things including not winning a board game, getting a shot at the doctors, or even just simply trying new foods to eat. While in therapy, I have gone through many programs including trying new foods, learning conversation cues, and even practicing being patient. During most of those sessions and programs, my therapists would tell me to “be friendly” and over time I came to understand what they meant by it and it has helped my life improve throughout the past decade. I learned conversation cues as well as coping mechanisms for when I am struggling, and I have overall improved into a more patient and aware individual and am still continuing to grow as I get older.
What originally started out as something that helped me go through the programs, now became something that is helping me throughout my life. While I sometimes have a lot of anxiety when it comes to the outside world, I know I can handle it and what I need to do to be comfortable. I went from a child who would constantly have a temper tantrum over the slightest thing to a young adult who knows how to control her emotions but can still let them out appropriately when needed. Instead of yelling and screaming at other people over something minor, I take deep breaths, draw or calmly express my thoughts. I started out as a girl who had no idea how to talk to people on my own, whereas now even though I am still very shy and introverted, I know the needed cues which allow me to be actively involved in conversation with others when they talk to me, whether they are someone I know or am unfamiliar with. I went from a very impatient child who could not bear to wait just five minutes just to play a board game, to a teenager who knows how to be patient not only if I am waiting on something, but also when circumstances around me are uncomfortable. I went from someone who couldn’t get a flu shot without screaming and being held down, to someone who can cope with the fear of them that stuck with them for a long time. If I were to imagine my younger self at this moment, I think she would call me a silly adult, but she would still be proud of me for how much I grew in the past ten years since first getting the advice to “be friendly”. It’s not just a piece of advice I was given, but is the mindset that I use as I go through life and something that I will probably say to myself daily as I continue to grow.
Kerry Magro, a professional speaker and best-selling author who is also on the autism spectrum started the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference in 2011 to help students with autism receive scholarship aid to pursue a post-secondary education. Help us continue to help students with autism go to college by making a tax-deductible donation to our nonprofit here.
Also, consider having Kerry, one of the only professionally accredited speakers on the spectrum in the country, speak at your next event by sending him an inquiry here. If you have a referral for someone who many want him to speak please reach out as well! Kerry speaks with schools, businesses, government agencies, colleges, nonprofit organizations, parent groups and other special events on topics ranging from employment, how to succeed in college with a learning disability, internal communication, living with autism, bullying prevention, social media best practices, innovation, presentation best practices and much more!
