This guest post is by Lexi Garner, a young woman who plans on attending college. She is an advocate for the Spring 2025 Making a Difference Autism Scholarship via the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference started by me, Kerry Magro. I was nonverbal till 2.5 and diagnosed with autism at 4 and you can read more about my organization here.
Autistics on Autism the Next Chapter: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams was released on Amazon on 3/25/25 and looks at the lives over 75 Autistic adults. 100% of the proceeds from this book will go back to supporting our nonprofits many initiatives, like this scholarship program. Check out the book here.
God knit me together in my mother’s womb exactly the way He wanted. So with that, I am His masterpiece. I have lately connected this with my autism. I have begun to compare it to a stain glass window. The designer knows how everything will look and work together. However, to an outsider, an individual piece is odd, unusual, weird, or bad. But to the creator, who fashioned it and knows it, it is a treasure. That is what we are. We are treasures that are an anomaly and outsider to the rest of the world. Each one is shaped, colored, textured, and lined differently, but they all are a treasure in their own way alone, but together they are a magnificent masterpiece.
I struggled a lot growing up, but not in the ways most people think about when the word ‘struggle’ is mentioned. I grew up in a home with two parents and a younger brother, in the suburbs. But, my brother was diagnosed with his differences early on. I was the one expected to adapt. My tendencies were considered weird and social aspects were mystery I couldn’t seem to solve because I was oblivious to doing it wrong whenever I wasn’t being scolded for doing or saying something socially inappropriate. I had fake and toxic friends who used me and hurt me without me being consciously aware of it. I had a brother that I loved but at the same time didn’t like because, in my eyes, he was getting special treatment, and he kind of was. I had even been asked “what is wrong with you” by a few different people…including relatives.
When I was diagnosed, my parents found out why I was the way I was. It almost put a lightbulb off as to why I asked certain questions, knew obscure answers, acted certain ways, struggled and excelled in different aspects, and even why I responded specific ways to things. It explained my habitual attitude and spunky spontaneity. It explained my intuition with emotion and stories versus my scramble social tendencies. It was an eye opener. They began to learn and put me in certain therapies to learn the social and coping aspects I lacked.
However, teens today are harsh with their words and views. I have been bullied for being autistic. Called retarded (a slur for autistics), mentally impaired, easy to hate, and more. Being open with my diagnosis was hard in high school. Initially, I wasn’t open about it. But masking is exhausting, draining. When I got more open, it showed me who I could really trust, who was truly ever my friend. It also showed me how shallow and conceited many people are. I lost people I considered friends. I was cast out by an entire class at school and bullied to the point of changing classes. My depression was at dangerous fluctuation intervals.
It hurts, but they don’t get to tell me who I am. They don’t get to tell any of us who we are. That is our choice. That is God’s dictation. I was able to eventually see that through the help of the true friends I had made and the therapists that were assisting me in my autism journey. I was able to gain confidence. For the first time in a long time, I was able to love who I was and am.
The thing that really woke me up was when I stopped running from God because I was scared, ashamed, and loathing myself. Someone woke me up with the realization that because I was God’s creation, His treasure, whenever I said something in deprecation of myself, I was speaking ill of God’s creation. But the thing is, God creates everything as it should be, everyone as His treasure and prize. I can’t in good conscience speak ill of His creation, in turn, speak ill of myself.
My diagnosis isn’t an excuse. It isn’t my identity. It is only part of who I am. It is an explanation and the tint of my stain glass piece. It can hold me back or propel me forward. But how much power are we gonna give those words on the page from the doctor? In my opinion, they just tell us one more intricacy of God’s beautiful design for us. To me, it is an artful lens in my life. It gives me an additional unique layer to my story.
It is my chance to prove the bullies wrong.
The journey is a long one. The road is a hard one. The way has many obstacles and trials. But I am who God says I am. And as a believer, as a follower, I am therefore His daughter, His child. That is my identity. And when the race is complete and I go home, I can know that all my suffering is done and I will finally have been cemented in the masterpiece of His stain glass. My shard will have withstood the burning refineries and hammering shaping.
My stain glass shard, is my life, my eyes, my body, my soul, my heart, my good and bad, my right and wrong, all for the beauty that is God’s plan. He has given me my own quirky unique role, my own beautiful view of the world, my own ideas and seemingly odd solutions. He has gifted me with it all. And I will continue to praise Him for it.
Kerry Magro, a professional speaker and best-selling author who is also on the autism spectrum started the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference in 2011 to help students with autism receive scholarship aid to pursue a post-secondary education. Help us continue to help students with autism go to college by making a tax-deductible donation to our nonprofit here.
Also, consider having Kerry, one of the only professionally accredited speakers on the spectrum in the country, speak at your next event by sending him an inquiry here. If you have a referral for someone who many want him to speak please reach out as well! Kerry speaks with schools, businesses, government agencies, colleges, nonprofit organizations, parent groups and other special events on topics ranging from employment, how to succeed in college with a learning disability, internal communication, living with autism, bullying prevention, social media best practices, innovation, presentation best practices and much more!
