“Getting the hint” may be difficult for anyone to understand let alone someone on the autism spectrum.
Ghosting is something I had to learn the hard way. Ghosting is when someone you’ve been dating (whether in a relationship or after several dates) ceases all communication. This is often done without warning and without any type of notice. Once the person does this they ignore all types of messages. While relationships and dating is where most of this is discussed, friendships can also suffer from ghosting from time to time.
While this may be a way to avoid confrontation, it also leaves the ghostee with many unanswered questions. For myself, as someone who has suffered from a few of these it leaves you without closure. Whenever I hear of a mentee who is suffering from ghosting they over try to over analyze the situation, leading to anxiety and depression.
When it comes to someone on the spectrum, they may not understand body language and the signs that another person may be giving you. Nonverbal communication was always one of my greatest weaknesses. One of the first times I was ever ghosted was in a time before social media was big. I thought while being ignored that something bad happened to that individual. I was in a different town and had no mutual friends so I was left in a tough predicament. Questions left unanswered led for an uncertainty that was in the pit of my stomach.
Conflict is at the core of this issue. I write this post today in the hopes of being open about a subject that affects more and more individuals on the spectrum everyday as they reach adulthood and are looking into dating. Open communication is the key when these situations arise. To be kind often means to reflect on the old saying of ‘honesty is the best policy’ and letting someone know when you don’t feel the same way about them that they feel about you.
You may not feel about it at first but when you truly think of the other individual it is often the best thing you can do.
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Kerry Magro is an award-winning professional speaker and best-selling author who’s on the autism spectrum. Kerry regularly speaks at schools, businesses, parent groups, nonprofit organizations and other special events on topics ranging from but not limited too disability, innovation, school bullying, the power of communication, diversity, workplace bullying, servant leadership and much more! For his efforts, Kerry has been been featured in major media and worked with amazing brands including CBS News, Inside Edition, Upworthy and Huffington Post among others. Know of a group that would like to have Kerry speak? Have them reach out to Kerry at Kerrymagro.com/contact!
