This guest post is by Alexander Diamond, a library science and education graduate on the autism spectrum who was accepted into Missouri State University. Alexander is applying for the Spring 2021 Making a Difference Autism Scholarship via the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference started by me, Kerry Magro. I was nonverbal till 2.5 and diagnosed with autism at 4 and you can read more about my organization here.
I hope you can support my nonprofit like I’m trying to support these students with scholarship aid for college. Learn more on how you can help our cause with a small donation (just asking for $3 today, equal to your daily cup of coffee) here.
Adversity affects everyone in a different manner. For some people being stigmatized causes an inward retreat into themselves. They decide that the challenges they have cannot be overcome and are hopeless to resist. Others decide that they want to stand strong. Initially, I was unaware of some of the challenges of being on the Autism Spectrum. Becoming a teenager made me understand some of the disadvantages firsthand, as I became increasingly lonely and self-conscious. But as I entered college, I found ways to transform my diagnosis into an asset. Branching out socially, gaining a strong work ethic, and meeting with qualified professionals allowed me to come to terms with being autistic.
When I was a kid, I found solace in escapism. I enjoyed thinking about elaborate stories in my head. Ultimately, this was the best way for me to disassociate from the normal childhood experiences that most people go through. What I could craft in my own mind seemed more interesting. Long-term though, this had quite a few consequences. First, I was not able to focus completely in class and frequently was missing my homework. Second, I became known as a quite malleable person—causing others to try and manipulate me. Third, my lack of interest in making friends would give me an inferiority complex as I got older.
Through my teenage years, I started to learn that there was something different from me. Rest assured, I always knew that I was on the Autism Spectrum. What I was not able to reconcile though was how odd I looked to others. I always thought that I was quite intelligent and well-liked, but I was actually gullible and prone to incessant ramblings. The first event that provoked my inferiority complex was when I was asking questions to one of my sister’s friends. That friend said that I was annoying. I brushed it off, but it hurt me to realize that I gave off that impression to other people.
What really provoked me to change my habits for good was the lonesome summer after I attained my high school diploma. During my time in high school, I was able to distract myself until feeling fulfilled by involving myself in numerous activities. Nevertheless, none of these endeavors could make me as dynamic of a person as I hoped to be. My ticket out of high school put me on the train of desperation. I spent nearly all my time not working at home, inconsolable as I watched the illusion of my happiness get torn apart.
Going to Kutztown University allowed me to find the structure and the inner strength that I was hoping for. Being at college gave me the opportunity to find a new beginning for myself. To do this, it was essential that I challenged the aspects of myself that caused me to feel so miserable in the first place. No excuses could be made—only by being honest to myself could I successfully change my trajectory around. This would be a long and arduous journey but would ultimately be worth it in the end. Through my tenacity and flexibility, I found myself able to right the issues in my life and finally reconcile myself as a person with the disorder I was diagnosed with.
The first priority was on getting my assignments completed successfully–both on time and without being hastily rushed. Being a frequent procrastinator, this was a skill set that I was going to need help managing. My first resource was the Disability Services Office. They allowed students to determine what accommodations were necessary for them to succeed. Tutoring and office hours helped with understanding course materials. Most important was the Student Success Center, where I was able to work with a wonderful student success coordinator that gave strategies to better organize myself. By the end of my Freshman year, I was a successful and high-achieving student.
Once I felt comfortable enough with completing assignments, my next focus was developing a strong work ethic. Previously, I always needed some sort of prize to complete my work. I could never do something for the esteem of doing it. I matured at a much slower pace and did not always realize the benefit in doing things just to do them. The thing that changed my outlook on life was my desire to make an impact on the world. I felt that my life could either be spent helping people or take a turn towards laziness. My passion area soon ended up being in higher education, as I witnessed the transformation that had happened to me. Because of that, I was able to focus on what I needed to do to get ready and then start on a new beginning from there.
What was my biggest focus eventually was the socialization aspect. I joined numerous clubs and activities. I also became a frequent visitor of the student lounges in my residence hall. Initially, I only slowly met people and did not keep in touch with them. But overtime, I actually became friends with some fellow students. At first, I was unsure about how to maintain these friendships. But I ultimately learned that these people enjoyed who I was as a person—they genuinely liked me. It is one of the simplest pleasures of my life to call my friends on the phone or to Zoom with a group of the guys. I never thought that I would ever have the enjoyment that comes with that.
To me, the best way I can inspire high-functioning people on the Autism Spectrum is by showing how you can be successful while having the diagnosis. I have shown that I can have fulfilling friendships, work towards goals, and even hold down multiple jobs over the years. Something tells me that my parents never expected that out of the fussy almost non-verbal three-year-old. The most important thing is to get help and always self-advocate. Only then can you really make a change in your life.
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My name is Kerry Magro, a professional speaker and best-selling author who is also on the autism spectrum that started the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference in 2011 to help students with autism receive scholarship aid to pursue a post-secondary education. Help support me so I can continue to help students with autism go to college by making a tax-deductible donation to our nonprofit here.
