This guest post is by Brooke Bachia, a young woman on the autism spectrum who was accepted into Rutgers University – Newark. Brooke is applying for the Spring 2021 Making a Difference Autism Scholarship via the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference started by me, Kerry Magro. I was nonverbal till 2.5 and diagnosed with autism at 4 and you can read more about my organization here.
I hope you can support my nonprofit like I’m trying to support these students with scholarship aid for college. Learn more on how you can help our cause with a small donation (just asking for $3 today, equal to your daily cup of coffee) here.
Dear Freshman Brooke,
You’ve finally made it to the big leagues, or so it seemed. Don’t spend too much time checking off the boxes because life rarely turns out exactly as planned. Do not pressure yourself into panic. Take a deep breath and put those coping skills to work, you will see that everyone has moments of uncertainty and sometimes failure. Just so you know, you will not be the model student that you have conjured up in your mind.
You’re not going to be the best varsity distance runner or the student who earns perfect grades. You will fail a class for the first time in your life during your freshman year and deal with depression during your sophomore year. You will feel like you struggle more than you succeed. Your parents, especially your mom will become increasingly concerned as your perceived “growing pains” continue to get worse. You are unable to focus in school and turn your frustration towards your parents and yourself. You feel like you’ve fallen down a deep hill that is too steep to climb. Although your parents love you, they are trying to understand what is happening. Along with support and encouragement, scoldings and lectures that have nuggets of truth are given. You will come to realize that what is being said is true but it does not register. Your mom tells you to continue to work hard and do the best you can in your classes. She also stresses that you need to stick with whatever it is that you have started, especially if you are good at it. You don’t always listen because it is easier to listen to the other voices around you. Voices of teachers, social workers, and guidance counselors tell you to settle and lower your expectations. They sound nicer in comparison to your parents so you listen to them instead. You compare yourself to cousins that came before you and peers in your age group that easily navigated high school experience in your same school. You can’t even handle seeing the value in yourself or the point of existing. In spite of all this, your family continues to support and seek help for you, even if they are terrified of the path you seem to be taking.
Your parents and you learn something previously not known. After testing and evaluation, you are diagnosed with ADHD, Autism, Depression, and Central Auditory Processing Disorder.
In the summer before your junior year, a show called “Euphoria” will come out. The soapy teen show isn’t your usual preference, but you feel so relieved to see a black girl character that you are able to identify with. You gain a greater understanding of acceptance and believe that you will always grow.
School improves greatly. At your mother’s request and insistence and also per your IEP, new support systems have been developed and put in place to help you. Unlike your past “supports”, they’ll also hold you accountable and do not tell you to lower expectations for yourself. With your IEP in place, you are able to meet expectations in spite of your disabilities. Teachers are more flexible and willing to accept assignments within timelines that meet your specific learning supports. You feel less afraid of showing up to class and you are able to concentrate while in class. You will attend classes that are smaller but still academically rigorous. Additionally, greater attention is paid to your inability to filter out ambient noise that is sometimes present in larger classrooms. You will get back on track and begin to earn A’s and B’s. You gain confidence in knowing that you can be independently successful.
Your social life improves. You are no longer a lonely student who prefers to associate with adults and withdraws from classmates and fellow students, You gain new friends that are just as obsessed with cartoons as you are. You increase your participation in activities that you discarded or decreased participation in after freshman year. You rededicate yourself to personal improvement and even reach out to help others by participating in the Minority Achievement Community. In spite of improvements, there are moments when you don’t always follow through. You enter a film contest. When you become overwhelmed as the deadline is approaching, you try to quit. Your mom will force you to finish. In the end, you are glad you followed through and completed the project. You end up winning 2nd place out of over 32000 entries!
Just as you are hitting your stride, the pandemic hits. Although disappointed, you remain committed to positively moving forward. Even after being forced into quarantine, life continues to improve academically, socially, and at home. You become much more responsible and independent during this time. Your participation in mandatory and extracurricular activities remains consistent. Even though most events are on Zoom or Google Meet, you still show up and do your part. You don’t have to be reminded to attend remote classes or complete assignments. At home, you start listening to your parents a little bit more. In turn, your parents will start trying to see things from your perspective and compromise more.
As of now, your senior year self is still dealing with quarantine life but things are better than ever. You’ll have five four-year colleges fighting for your attendance. Remote classes are going well. You’ll still have bad days but it’s a normal amount again. Your disabilities won’t hold you back.
Your story will continue to be written until you take your last breath. The end remains unwritten. I need to let you know first is that there’s no shame in struggling. Struggling or not it’s your actions that decide your fate. Most of all, have faith in yourself. You are MORE than enough and as long as you keep trying, things do get better eventually. I wish you all the love and joy in the world.
Senior Brooke Bachia
Follow my journey on Facebook, my Facebook Fan Page, & Instagram!
My name is Kerry Magro, a professional speaker and best-selling author who is also on the autism spectrum that started the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference in 2011 to help students with autism receive scholarship aid to pursue a post-secondary education. Help support me so I can continue to help students with autism go to college by making a tax-deductible donation to our nonprofit here.
