This guest post is Leon Rasor, a young man on the autism spectrum who was accepted into SUNY. Leon is applying for the Spring 2025 Making a Difference Autism Scholarship via the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference started by me, Kerry Magro. I was nonverbal till 2.5 and diagnosed with autism at 4 and you can read more about my organization here.
Autistics on Autism the Next Chapter: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams will be released on Amazon on 3/25/25 and looks at the lives over 75 Autistic adults. 100% of the proceeds from this book will go back to supporting our nonprofits many initiatives, like this scholarship program. Check out the book here.
Growing up as a young girl meant that I had very different expectations from my male peers. I was expected to behave differently, speak differently, and dress differently. In turn, this also meant that my autism presented differently. When most parents think of autism and all the typical markers in early childhood, what they picture is stereotypical of boys with autism. Girls, however, are much different. Girls are more likely to display a heightened vocabulary early in childhood, display intense interest in more “socially acceptable” things like TV shows, and come off as shy. Parents don’t tend to catch smaller things like these, considering they aren’t perceived as disruptive or negative. When girls start to struggle with communication and emotional regulation later in life, it’s seen as a regression rather than something that has always been present. Misconceptions like these are what lead me to spend a majority of my childhood and teen years as undiagnosed. To most people, it wasn’t even obvious I was struggling. I would show up to school every day, complete my homework, and maintain my grades because that is what I was supposed to do. Those were the instructions I was given. At home, I would regularly suffer from burnout and experience intense meltdowns in my room. I would cry, slamming my fists into my head as I wondered why nothing came as easy to me as it did for all of my peers. At eleven I was misdiagnosed with social anxiety, when in reality my anxiety stemmed from overstimulation and a fear of change. I lacked the words to properly convey my feelings and explain why I felt the way I did, leading to my therapist making assumptions about me that I could not correct. I was bullied in school, seen as the “weird kid” for reasons I didn’t understand. It’s as if all the kids in my grade could tell something about me was different, even if I didn’t know what it was, and they didn’t like it. Why was I seen as an outsider? I resigned myself to spending the rest of my life wondering what about me was so different from everybody else.
It wasn’t until high school I started to learn more about autism, and realized that I related heavily to the struggles of people around me with ASD. I started doing more research, browsing through the DSM-V and learning as much as I could. The summer of my junior year, my mom approached me with a similar conclusion. We began searching to find a psychologist in my area, and soon set up an evaluation appointment. I was diagnosed with autism, and it almost felt like a weight off my shoulders. I finally understood how to better support my needs. I began masking less, no longer exhausting myself in an attempt to appear more “normal” to those around me. I was questioned about it, doubted, and even received pushback about getting the support I needed, but I stood up for myself. It was a scary, new experience, but I pushed to have my needs met. I have learned more about how to regulate myself, and I recognize my limits. Self-advocacy is one of your most important tools, and nobody should be afraid to use it. Others may not understand certain aspects of your life, but just because they don’t understand doesn’t mean they can’t be respectful. Accommodations changed my life for the better. I have been dangerously close to severe mental health crises because I was pushing myself too hard in a world not made for me. Because I advocated for myself I can continue doing activities I love, like speech and debate or cosplay.
Sometimes I do wonder what my life would have been like if I was diagnosed earlier, if I received the support I needed from childhood. One of my main goals now is to educate others on how autism presents differently in girls. There is a large bias in scientific research, gearing information towards men and only listing one set of traits and symptoms as truth. Misdiagnosis is harmful, and growing up without the tools to succeed puts strain on young girls all across the globe. The world is filled with harmful misinformation about things like autism spectrum disorder, and combating that helps people develop a better understanding of those with it. Educating others could help somebody get the support they need, and standing up for yourself to get that support isn’t a negative thing. I am still an extremely capable and independent person, even if I need extra help sometimes. Do not let other people set the bar for you, and do not let other people tell you your limits.
Kerry Magro, a professional speaker and best-selling author who is also on the autism spectrum started the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference in 2011 to help students with autism receive scholarship aid to pursue a post-secondary education. Help us continue to help students with autism go to college by making a tax-deductible donation to our nonprofit here.
Also, consider having Kerry, one of the only professionally accredited speakers on the spectrum in the country, speak at your next event by sending him an inquiry here. If you have a referral for someone who many want him to speak please reach out as well! Kerry speaks with schools, businesses, government agencies, colleges, nonprofit organizations, parent groups and other special events on topics ranging from employment, how to succeed in college with a learning disability, internal communication, living with autism, bullying prevention, social media best practices, innovation, presentation best practices and much more!
