This guest post is by Zoe Sanders, a young woman who attends Evangel University. She is an advocate for the Spring 2025 Making a Difference Autism Scholarship via the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference started by me, Kerry Magro. I was nonverbal till 2.5 and diagnosed with autism at 4 and you can read more about my organization here.
Autistics on Autism the Next Chapter: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams was released on Amazon on 3/25/25 and looks at the lives over 75 Autistic adults. 100% of the proceeds from this book will go back to supporting our nonprofits many initiatives, like this scholarship program. Check out the book here.
Scars are testimonies of how far a person has come. They display resilience coupled with invisible pain. I’ve been hurt by my passive circumstances many times in my life, yet, through it all, my family has rallied by my side.
My mother didn’t just raise me – she saved me. Most parents would be fine with three boys, but she and my father chose to adopt me and my sister from China. We weren’t biologically related, and I was adopted a year later. Sure, we all had our moments, screaming over toys and punching and playing, the floor a mess, adults tripping over stray cars, their hair crazy from another wild day of parenting five. Truly, the family would have been more than complete without me. But my mother saw my picture listed on China’s adoption website – a bilateral cleft lip, bright eyes, and, well, the rest was history. Except, it wasn’t.
From a young age, I understood that I was different, but I never cared. Not being diagnosed with autism and sensory processing disorder until nine years old has given me little time to process what that meant. Honestly, I was just trying to get through each week while holding on to as much consistency as I possibly could. Independence has always loomed over my life, phasing in and out like some mocking punchline to a joke I could barely grasp. Even as a sophomore in high school, two mere years ago, I genuinely questioned if I would succeed in college, or if I would succumb to failure and get added to a list of “could’ve-beens.” Through my fear, I always knew that I would pursue my dream of being a professional writer, speaker, and critic. Somehow.
Communication was always a challenge, because words never really felt “right” or “normal” Occasionally, my mother would happily tell me about the progress I had made that day. “You were able to verbalize what you wanted!” she’d say over-enthusiastically, as if I had just gotten back from taking a stroll on the moon. I never bothered to correct the tone. I mean, she wasn’t wrong. I’m sure most parents kick-back in a mental overlay of spreadsheets and plans involving their senior about to fly off to college – but the fact remains that they inherently take it for granted that their child WILL succeed in college. That type of hope was more wishful thinking in my family.
Though autism has always been my superpower, it comes with potentially the most crippling weaknesses imaginable. Coupled with my sensory processing disorder, my autism and sensory needs often feel like they have been dilated to 100 at any given moment. Shoes are too loose or too tight, the linings inside shirts and pants feel like they’re scratching into my skin, and sensory processing disorder causes my limbs to feel like they are actively detaching from my body most of the day. Though no one ever told me I wouldn’t succeed at a given task, there were some things that it was unspokenly agreed upon that I couldn’t do. In fact, I’m nineteen, was held back a grade, and I still don’t have a driver’s license.
Indeed, many people inherently associate autism with meta superpowers like computer-like analysis, hyperfocus, and intellect. Furthermore, autism in the mainstream media often sounds like a party that everyone wants to be a part of but no one stops to understand what it truly entails. For instance, the movie Rain Man displays a character that everyone wants on their side but whom no one wants to take the time to deal with. Akin to Ray from Rain Man, I associate some of my memories of meltdowns with the movie. His nickname is quite metaphorical, because he sort of just drops depression and confusion everywhere he goes. Though I have few memories before I turned nine, the most significant of all of them is remembering being held down by my mother during what my family now understands was a severe panic attack, but back then no one was quite sure what was going on with me.
Yet through all of the negatives and tumultuous periods of my life, I have always striven to pursue my dream to be a critic of books and movies. I wish to pursue positive change in the mainstream media, and for me, that starts with publicly analyzing movies. Though I used to struggle with school before my diagnosis of autism, I have since overcome many of those difficulties. In fact, I will be finishing this year with a total of twenty-eight college credit hours (assuming they all transfer). Throughout my short life, I have been pushing the boundaries for what I can accomplish.
This year, I have decided to immediately go to college upon graduation. It’s a decision I never could have imagined for myself, but with the backing of my family, and especially my mother, I feel confident that I can tackle whatever comes this fall. Though there have been times that I have felt broken and unfixable, I realize now that I’m not some discarded orphan from China. I took every curveball thrown at me and I’ve risen above my past. Scars and all, that’s where I’ll be.
Kerry Magro, a professional speaker and best-selling author who is also on the autism spectrum started the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference in 2011 to help students with autism receive scholarship aid to pursue a post-secondary education. Help us continue to help students with autism go to college by making a tax-deductible donation to our nonprofit here.
Also, consider having Kerry, one of the only professionally accredited speakers on the spectrum in the country, speak at your next event by sending him an inquiry here. If you have a referral for someone who many want him to speak please reach out as well! Kerry speaks with schools, businesses, government agencies, colleges, nonprofit organizations, parent groups and other special events on topics ranging from employment, how to succeed in college with a learning disability, internal communication, living with autism, bullying prevention, social media best practices, innovation, presentation best practices and much more!
