This guest post is by Fiad Muhammad Ali II, a young man who was diagnosed with autism at 8 and currently attends Frederick Community College. Fiad is applying for the Spring 2023 Making a Difference Autism Scholarship via the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference started by me, Kerry Magro. I was nonverbal till 2.5 and diagnosed with autism at 4, and you can read more about my organization here. Autistics on Autism: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams, our nonprofit’s new book, was released on March 29, 2022, on Amazon here for our community to enjoy featuring the stories of 100 autistic adults.
As a kid who looked the way I did, thought the way I did, and moved as much as I did, I often just did not fit in. Even when people tried to treat me the same as everyone else, I still felt different whether it be because I thought differently than they did, I looked different than they did, I moved more often than they did, I was different. Growing up, some people said that differences were good, and some said that differences were bad. When I was in around 4th or fifth grade, I got to see horrific things and hear about horrific things that no fifth grader should ever have to hear about.
I was living in the ghettos of Baltimore and, while I lived there for only about a year, that was a year that made me think about things especially because that was the year that a man named Freddie Gray was murdered by cops because he was different. Because of my autism, which at the time I knew I had, I was wondering was I next because it seems like society has a tendency to punish those who are different and I’m different on multiple fronts. I’m the son of a single working mother with dark skin who looks the way I do and with a mental disorder that has a tendency to mean that cops don’t like me.
My major respite in life was escaping to a world of fantasy, or people could transform into aliens by hitting a device on their wrist, where teens bitten by radioactive spiders could save the day and get the girl, or orphans with tragic backstories to protect those who are vulnerable from evil. Even if good didn’t always win, it sure would always put up one heck of a fight. I wonder how much my own personal ideas are influenced by superheroes.
Maybe that’s why I view power the way I do because I do believe that those who have power have the responsibility to use it to help others. Maybe that’s part of the reason I decided to write my own stories about superheroes saving the day. In my junior year of high school I learned I was very good with kids. I like them, they like me, and I taught them well enough to let them go into kindergarten. I also discovered around 4th and 5th grade that I liked music. So I picked up the clarinet and I learned to sing and I have been doing the clarinet ever since. I’m sure you’re asking what this has to do with autism and I’m going to get to that now.
Working to overcome my autism and its weaknesses has allowed me to tap into its strengths. My ability to understand people isn’t always the best but when I get someone I really get someone. Sometimes my mind races at a million miles per minute and it feels like there’s a swirling cloud of thoughts, but when it focuses and gets serene in there, I feel suddenly like a master of martial arts practicing his craft every single day. Time doesn’t exist anymore when I want to learn something. This has granted me skills and knowledge and all sorts of things meaning I am a monster at trivia. I’ve also become a good friend to many people and just generally someone people like to turn to if they need a joke or a shoulder to cry on. I spent my life feeling the effects of bad differences, I’m not going to let anyone else feel that way. I finally learned to understand the difference between good and bad different.
Good different is feeling like yourself because you’re unique; bad difference is feeling like you have to hide what makes you unique. I used to hide things with myself because I was scared that no one would like me, that I was weird. For years I tended to not have friends my own age, but for some reason I just related more to the adults around me. As I grew older, I started to gain more confidence in myself.
Even if you are different, you can always find someone who cares about you, who will like you for your strangeness. You’re awesome, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Follow my journey on Facebook, my Facebook Fan Page, Tiktok, Youtube & Instagram.
My name is Kerry Magro, a professional speaker and best-selling author who is also on the autism spectrum. I started the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference in 2011 to help students with autism receive scholarship aid to pursue post-secondary education. Help support me so I can continue to help students with autism go to college by making a tax-deductible donation to our nonprofit here.
Autistics on Autism: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams was released on March 29, 2022 on Amazon here for our community to enjoy featuring the stories of 100 autistic adults. 100% of the proceeds from this book will go back to our nonprofit to support initiatives like our autism scholarship program. In addition, this autistic adult’s essay you just read will be featured in a future volume of this book as we plan on making this into a series of books on autistic adults.
