This guest post is by Audrey Pinkley, a young woman who is loooking forward to attending college. She is an advocate for the Spring 2025 Making a Difference Autism Scholarship via the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference started by me, Kerry Magro. I was nonverbal till 2.5 and diagnosed with autism at 4 and you can read more about my organization here.
Autistics on Autism the Next Chapter: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams was released on Amazon on 3/25/25 and looks at the lives over 75 Autistic adults. 100% of the proceeds from this book will go back to supporting our nonprofits many initiatives, like this scholarship program. Check out the book here.
You’re different. You’re blunt and concise, so why does no one understand you? Why is it like you’re speaking a different language? An undiscovered, untranslatable language. You scream for help, but it comes out in gibberish, and the people around you stare as if tendrils of madness are creeping around your shoulders. And maybe they say there’s nothing wrong, you’re just an anxious, shy kid. You just think too much. Despite the way they look at you, understanding you all wrong, they still make you contain your quote unquote quirks. They say you’re not disabled enough to do that, you’re not autistic enough. Or maybe they bash you with the idea that you’re not autistic at all. Yet they still stare down at you with sad, sympathetic doe-eyes, still making you feel like a stranger in your own skin.
It’s not your fault though. I’ve been there–I am there. I’ve felt the way imposter syndrome creeps out from others’ mouths and in through your own, infesting your brain like a wasp nest in a home. I’ve asked myself How do I correctly be human? How do I feel correctly? And the answer is simple but at the same time oh so difficult. Not to mention cheesy. You just let your nervous system, and more importantly your sense of self, do its thing.
That isn’t to say you shouldn’t use coping mechanisms and strategies to calm down when overstimulated, sad, or stressed. You just should also practice believing that you are, well, you. There’s nothing incorrect or wrong about that.
Take stimming. I don’t know if it’s a common occurrence, but before being diagnosed with autism I was fussed at for stimming because I wasn’t autistic. Listen closely, I don’t care if you’re diagnosed or not, I don’t even care if you’re autistic at all, flap those hands or however you regulate as much as you want. It helps you, it makes fuzzy energy jolt from where you stim throughout the rest of your body. More importantly, it doesn’t affect anyone else negatively. So there’s no problem with it, and you shouldn’t feel guilty for it, period.
Other people can’t tell what goes on in your brain and nervous system from the way you look. For me, I tend to dissociate when in scary situations and then fully break down later. Only people who know me well can tell I’m not really present in my body or the world, that I’m unable to make simple decisions or answer basic questions. Because they know what to look for. And even then, they can’t always tell. People you don’t trust or know well most certainly aren’t going to be able to tell these small inner workings of your brain. Consequently, you shouldn’t ignore your feelings just because they’re “wrong” or “different”. They need to be properly listened to and cared for or they will just build up and spill out.
It’s important that those comfortable with it are loud about their pride in the autism community, and being part of it. Right now, the world is scary and more than likely dangerous, but hiding because of this won’t make things better. Because currently people in power want neurodivergent people to disappear so that they can do what they want and ignore the injustices presented upon minorities. It’s a hard place to live in right now, but accepting ourselves is the first step to being accepted by others.
Despite the challenges I’m still overcoming, I wouldn’t wish to be someone I’m not, to be neurotypical. Despite forgetting meals and losing track of time because of how involved I get into things, it makes me a more skilled writer, someone who feels like they’re actually in the environment they’re writing about. Even though I generally have trouble feeling my emotions until they’re exploding out of me, to the point of meltdowns and panic attacks, I also get to experience the fluttering, rushing wave of energy that floods through me when happy stimming. Life might be easier if I weren’t so different, but it also wouldn’t be my life.
You are as human as you want to be. You are real, you are here, and you deserve to be understood. Your feelings, as always, are valid and deserve to be treated kindly. Personally, I’ve gone through mental hurricanes due to physical and mental health issues. But the hurricane always has an eye, and if you brave the storm you’ll eventually reach it.
Kerry Magro, a professional speaker and best-selling author who is also on the autism spectrum started the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference in 2011 to help students with autism receive scholarship aid to pursue a post-secondary education. Help us continue to help students with autism go to college by making a tax-deductible donation to our nonprofit here.
Also, consider having Kerry, one of the only professionally accredited speakers on the spectrum in the country, speak at your next event by sending him an inquiry here. If you have a referral for someone who many want him to speak please reach out as well! Kerry speaks with schools, businesses, government agencies, colleges, nonprofit organizations, parent groups and other special events on topics ranging from employment, how to succeed in college with a learning disability, internal communication, living with autism, bullying prevention, social media best practices, innovation, presentation best practices and much more!
