This guest post is by Zachary McCafferty, a young man accepted to Lafayette College. He is an advocate for the Spring 2025 Making a Difference Autism Scholarship via the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference started by me, Kerry Magro. I was nonverbal till 2.5 and diagnosed with autism at 4 and you can read more about my organization here.
Autistics on Autism the Next Chapter: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams was released on Amazon on 3/25/25 and looks at the lives over 75 Autistic adults. 100% of the proceeds from this book will go back to supporting our nonprofits many initiatives, like this scholarship program. Check out the book here.
Dear Past Mom,
I know it’s hard on you to know that both of your sons have autism. Seeing how much it’s holding Justin back, I can probably guess pretty accurately how you’re feeling now: you’ll love us just the same, but you’ll empathize for us because you can see how it’s affected Justin. I can see why you’re worried about him, especially about what happens to him after you die: he’s never going to live by himself, or go to college, or start his own family, even though you love him just as much as if he were a child who could grow up to do those things. But I want to reassure you this: I can do those things. I can live by myself, because I’m able to work (I’m currently working on getting a job now); I can go to college, and in fact, I just enrolled into Lafayette College; I can start a family, but I’m currently preoccupied with the first two things and haven’t started on that task just yet. Autism isn’t going to hold me back in the slightest: it’s going to boost me forward. There are still going to be days when you get a phone call home from school, telling you about me throwing a tantrum in class, or times when I refuse to let you bath me or dress me, or any basic hygiene tasks, but I want you to remember just one thing: all of it is going to pay off in the end. Every time you drive me to an after-school activity, every PTO or Scouting adult leaders’ meeting you sit through, every night you make my favorite dinners the night before a test, it will all be worth it in the end: you’re going to get to watch me grow up into a proud young man. And when the day comes that you can no longer take care of us, just know that by then, we’ll have made sure Justin gets taken care of, and I’ll be able to take care of myself as well.
Dear Past Dad,
Not many men in this world can say that they work as hard as you do. Everytime I glance into your office, I see you either typing away at some document on your computer, or on a phone call with some important businessman. However, I’m not trying to tell you you’re a neglectful parent- you aren’t not in the slightest. I won’t be able to understand this just yet as a kid, but without you, Justin and I would be in much different- most likely worse- places. Without you, we wouldn’t be able to secure all of the financial and disability aid for Justin and I that we so desperately need, especially at this crucial stage in our childhoods. Besides, it’s not like your work prevents you from ever interacting with us: in fact, you’re responsible for some of my fondest memories. My childhood wouldn’t be the same without you: specifically, all your corny dad jokes, all the times we played video games together, all the times you would spend hours doing research on what to get me for Christmas and my birthday; from the bottom of my heart, I truly thank you for everything you’ve done for us in this family. Even though I may not show it sometimes, I love you too, and I appreciate you.
Dear Past Me,
Whenever or wherever you read this, I want you to know that it gets better, all of it: the tantrums, the mood swings, the anxiety, the lack of focus, everything wrong with your head that you can think of, it will all get better. Some days, you’ll feel like you’re almost drowning in your own thoughts, or there’s a volcano of emotion erupting inside of you- this is normal. This is manageable. You can get past anything thrown your way. However, you can’t always get through everything alone: sometimes you need a shoulder to lean on. There are tons of different adults in your life you can depend on to help you and guide you. Don’t try and bottle things up inside you; if anything bothers you, tell someone, whether it’s kids being mean to you, or you wanting to try a different lunch, or feeling anxious about completing something for school. You don’t need to only open up to adults, either; most kids around you will gladly be your friend, whether they’re from school, Cub Scouts, karate, or baseball. Many of the friends I have now, I made just from a single conversation. Sure, sometimes meeting new people can be scary, but I’ve found that loneliness can be a lot scarier. Finally, don’t be scared to commit to new things: I only became an Eagle Scout and Black Belt because I made and kept a commitment to Boy Scouts and karate, respectively. For some skills, I’ve only retained them through commitment, like playing the guitar; others, I regret falling behind on practice in, like learning Spanish. If I could only impress upon you one single point from all of this, is that life moves like a flowing river: you can try and fight it, but the best option is to swim along the current, and you might even have fun doing so.
Yours truly:
Present-Day Zach
Kerry Magro, a professional speaker and best-selling author who is also on the autism spectrum started the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference in 2011 to help students with autism receive scholarship aid to pursue a post-secondary education. Help us continue to help students with autism go to college by making a tax-deductible donation to our nonprofit here.
Also, consider having Kerry, one of the only professionally accredited speakers on the spectrum in the country, speak at your next event by sending him an inquiry here. If you have a referral for someone who many want him to speak please reach out as well! Kerry speaks with schools, businesses, government agencies, colleges, nonprofit organizations, parent groups and other special events on topics ranging from employment, how to succeed in college with a learning disability, internal communication, living with autism, bullying prevention, social media best practices, innovation, presentation best practices and much more!
