This guest post is by Alex, a young man on the autism spectrum who was diagnosed with Asperger’s Autism at age 6 and has been accepted into Bowling Green State University. Alex is applying for the Spring 2022 Making a Difference Autism Scholarship via the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference started by me, Kerry Magro. I was nonverbal till 2.5 and diagnosed with autism at 4 and you can read more about my organization here. Autistics on Autism: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams, our nonprofit’s new book, will be released on March 29, 2022 on Amazon here for our community to enjoy featuring the stories of 100 autistic adults.
Preparation is always a good thing in my eyes. You can never be too prepared for something, after all. It’s also one of the hallmarks of someone with Autism. Us autistics love it when we’re able to prepare for something in advance. It gives a sense of assurance, a sense of readiness. Of course, life being the way it is, there’s no possible way that we can be ready for every situation at a given time. Even if a plan A, B, C, D, however far you want to go is developed, there will always be some moments in life where no amount of preparation will truly make someone ready. However, the kind of preparation that I want to talk about in this essay is the kind of preparation that is crucial for people with Autism. Despite it being so crucial, however, I have seen how little people truly prepare Autistics for the future. Let me give a brief example of what I mean.
Growing up, I was told that what I had was a gift. I was told that I should be super proud of my Autism, that I should tell anyone and everyone I have it. Employers would jump at the opportunity to hire me! Friends would turn my way in case there was a difficult problem that could use some looking into from the perspective of someone with Autism! I would be able to live a very comfy and stable life! I was told all these great stories of people like Albert Einstein and Isaac Newton, both of whom most likely had Autism, who made these groundbreaking discoveries that have become commonplace in today’s world! I was told that my future was secured and safe because of this diagnosis! Do you want to know what I discovered when I became an adult? At best, my teachers, tutors, and parents stretched out the truth. At worst, I was lied to.
Nobody told me that the unemployment/underemployment rate of people with Autism in the US was high. Nobody told me that most employers would often check to see whether an Autistic person can conform to societal norms first before considering their skill set for the job they’re applying for. Nobody told me what to do in case someone reacts to me disclosing my Autism in a negative way. Nobody told me Albert Einstein and Isaac Newton went through so many trials and tribulations of their own during their lives. I was only ever told that support for Autism harshly declines once I enter college and that there are accommodations I can apply for there. Nobody told me that my Autism would be perceived as a liability by so many people.
I can understand why nobody told me these harsh realities when I was a kid. After all, you don’t want to crush a kid’s hopes and dreams. But as I approached adulthood in high school, that is when I feel like I should have been told the reality of someone in my situation. I was so used to being validated and seen for who I am as a part of all of these Autism groups, and nobody told me that so many people would look at me funny for my diagnosis, that I marched into adulthood thinking it wouldn’t be such an issue. Fast forward to being denied my dream job of flying planes, and here I am today, still tending to the wounds that were inflicted by being betrayed by the world.
So, what can we do about this? After all, it wouldn’t be very productive of me to just complain. Therefore, I have a list of three solutions that I will go over briefly so that I can stay within the 1,000-word limit of the essay.
My first idea is to invest more in transition teams. Transition teams in various Autism education groups, as the name implies, serve to help people transition from their K-12 education to adulthood. These teams help those with Autism prepare for things like college, how to handle job interviews, and other things the like.
My second idea is to emphasize how important self-advocacy is. Even if this has been a talking point for someone growing up, when they become adults, that point needs to be emphasized even more. With how relentless the world can be to anybody, let alone an Autistic, being taught tactics and methods to stand up for yourself is crucial.
Thirdly, we need to have those uncomfortable conversations. Let’s be clear here, nobody wants to sit down and tell an autistic person “Hey, the world is not going to treat you kindly.”. If we lived in a perfect world, people would set aside someone’s Autism and focus on the person for who they are. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world. Therefore, we do need to sit down and have those tough conversations. I understand why we’re scared to have them, as we don’t want to tell a person on the spectrum that their diagnosis will cause issues for things like employment. But if we don’t have these kinds of talks, they may end up in a similar situation like mine where they may march into adulthood with total confidence the world will like them, only to be greeted with the harsh reality that a lot of people will see their Autism as a liability, not an asset. I don’t want anyone else to experience the sense of betrayal I felt when I was denied my aviation dream. That feeling of being betrayed by the world can do significant damage. It’s been about a year and a half since I got denied my dream of flying planes, and I still feel the pain of being told no because of my Autism as if it happened yesterday. That pain will never truly go away.
We need to do better for preparing those on the spectrum for adulthood. We HAVE to.
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My name is Kerry Magro, a professional speaker and best-selling author who is also on the autism spectrum that started the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference in 2011 to help students with autism receive scholarship aid to pursue post-secondary education. Help support me so I can continue to help students with autism go to college by making a tax-deductible donation to our nonprofit here.
Autistics on Autism: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams, will be released on March 29, 2022 on Amazon here for our community to enjoy featuring the stories of 100 autistic adults. 100% of the proceeds from this book will go back to our nonprofit to support initiatives like our autism scholarship program. In addition, this autistic adult’s essay you just read will be featured in a future volume of this book as we plan on making this into a series of books on autistic adults.
