This guest post is Asaiahya Green, a young woman on the autism spectrum who was accepted into Morgan State University. Asaiahya is applying for the Spring 2025 Making a Difference Autism Scholarship via the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference started by me, Kerry Magro. I was nonverbal till 2.5 and diagnosed with autism at 4 and you can read more about my organization here.
Autistics on Autism the Next Chapter: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams will be released on Amazon on 3/25/25 and looks at the lives over 75 Autistic adults. 100% of the proceeds from this book will go back to supporting our nonprofits many initiatives, like this scholarship program. Check out the book here.
It’s one thing to be growing up knowing yourself from the back of your own hand. Just as it is another thing for growing up knowing that you are autistic. But for me, I grew up knowing that there is a part of me that has yet to be acknowledge at all. The times that I thought what I was doing was similar to what other people that are growing up were doing was actually my mind and body doing to comfort or reassure myself. That I will either mentally assess what a person could react or say and follow that intuition. There was a missing part of me that hasn’t been acknowledged. I eventually learned about my (Major Depressive Disorder)MDD, (Generalized Anxiety Disorder)GAD, ADHD, and my recent diagnosis: (Austim)ASD. I’m still learning more about myself everyday.
From stories of how I was when I was young, my mother talk about how when I was a toddler that there are times that when I am playing with my toys, I would talk to them like they are actual human beings. Or when she walks in to check up on me, she will see me casually talking to myself. Another memory that creates a pattern with itself is how there are certain things that I don’t find an issue with, like picking up a frog or toad whenever they are spotted in the fields. I would usually be the person to move it to a safe spot while everyone was freaking out about it. I even remember the time that when my dad was telling me and my sister about how dangerous poisonous snakes are; I immediately corrected him. Telling him that snakes are venomous not poisonous and that 1/3 of the whole snake population is actually venomous.
Even though the misconception is that every autistic person likes planes or trains; I on the other hand have a love for dinosaurs that I would go out of my way to find and watch Archaeology documented movie that is based on various discoveries with dinosaurs new, well-know, and the underrated. A stereotype for autistic people is that they are very violent; yet it is an outburst from something that trigger them. Everyone has an outburst, and my trigger is whenever my body is being rubbed against material that makes me uncomfortable. Another one of my triggers is when I am placed in a high social area when I do not have the social battery to keep up.
One thing I have to learn is to pay attention to what my body is telling me than listening to a person that does not. How a person will tell you things about your body that isn’t what you are feeling or experiencing. There are times that I would not feel my best at the moment and rest only to feel better later on. I also had to learn the levels of discomfort that I am experiencing. I’ll call it L.O.A.D: levels of autistic discomfort. It has 4 levels to it: Green, Yellow, Orange-Red, and Risk. Green is the good level where you are not experiencing any discomfort whatsoever. Yellow is that little amount of discomfort, but it is within your manageable range to work with. Orange-Red is the level that have some to good about of discomfort that can become a problem; this is where you need to acknowledge the discomfort and find a way to dial it down to Yellow at best or to Green. Risk is the level where I am in a position where I could lose my composure and have an outburst. So my first thought is to get away from the trigger asap to have a safe place to regroup and recover.
I mention this method to bring up a tough pill that I had to swallow when it came to learning about my autism: family ghost town. I will describe it as a family member or a group of relatives that refuse to admit or struggle to see the person has who they are with the mental illness or disorder. I would describe it as walking into a house or town that you remember being comforting and cozy; a safe haven for you only to see that everything is empty. There isn’t the cozy comfort you used to have, just the remains of what was there. And it’s a struggle since it has been told to me that a family member was experiencing an odd period where they weren’t themselves. And instead of acknowledging it, they brushed it aside, saying that its just how they are. And this can be a damaging mindset for not just the person who has the mental illness or disorder, but the person who should be the support for them. How can you be supportive of someone when you can’t even try to acknowledge the issue that they are going through?
I’d rather have support from those who are present than those who would pretend that its not there or ignore the issue’s existence. Let’s not forget that this mindset is dangerous to the person themselves due to the fact that you will be hurting yourself more than you are trying to help yourself. I would think of it is burying the little things into a bottle bit by bit until it explodes within your face. I too catch myself being in denial of what I am going through. I did it to my Major Depressive Disorder more than ADHD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I didn’t want to believe that I was struggling with depression, but I need help. So I know that feeling of ignoring what can hurt you even more later. Please don’t do it, love yourself. Acknowledge the issue, it can be a step by step process towards finding a solution to cope and better heal yourself. And if you know someone you care that is struggling; be visible to them and not be part of ghost town.
Kerry Magro, a professional speaker and best-selling author who is also on the autism spectrum started the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference in 2011 to help students with autism receive scholarship aid to pursue a post-secondary education. Help us continue to help students with autism go to college by making a tax-deductible donation to our nonprofit here.
Also, consider having Kerry, one of the only professionally accredited speakers on the spectrum in the country, speak at your next event by sending him an inquiry here. If you have a referral for someone who many want him to speak please reach out as well! Kerry speaks with schools, businesses, government agencies, colleges, nonprofit organizations, parent groups and other special events on topics ranging from employment, how to succeed in college with a learning disability, internal communication, living with autism, bullying prevention, social media best practices, innovation, presentation best practices and much more!
