This guest post is by Jacob Cheatham, a young man on the autism spectrum who was diagnosed with ASD at 16 years old and currently attends Grossmont College. Jacob is applying for the Spring 2023 Making a Difference Autism Scholarship via the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference started by me, Kerry Magro. I was nonverbal till 2.5 and diagnosed with autism at 4 and you can read more about my organization here. Autistics on Autism: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams, our nonprofit’s new book, will be released on March 29, 2022 on Amazon here for our community to enjoy featuring the stories of 100 autistic adults.
Hello. My name is Jacob Cheatham. I was born in 2001 to Kevin and Kristi Cheatham in San Diego and I am presently 21 years old. I have struggled with autism and dealt with anxiety around social situations since I was young, but I was not diagnosed with autism until I was 16. In elementary school, I did not understand social cues and I exhibited behaviors that my peers considered abnormal. As a result, my peers (i.e. people around my age) bullied me by calling me weird, talking about me behind my back, and excluding me from certain activities. I took my peers’ insults to heart and believed what they said about me. This caused me to develop low self-esteem and social anxiety as I have obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), an anxiety disorder. During middle school, my social anxiety grew and by the end of eighth grade I believed that all of my peers outside of my friends disliked me and I only talked with my peers when it was necessary. Due to the severity of my social anxiety, my parents and I realized that I needed professional help so I got into treatment programs where I received mental health therapy for my social anxiety. The therapy was difficult at first as I was nervous around the other people at the treatment program, but after overcoming my initial anxiety, I began talking with them. Over time, I became more comfortable talking with the other people and I made progress as I began to form friendships with them and have meaningful conversations. At this time, I determined that humor is the best way to connect with people as it releases hormones which cause people to remember me positively and as a result I began learning how to make people laugh. Before I could make further progress and fully develop my sense of humor, my OCD intensified and due to it I went to a therapeutic residential boarding school as it provided the structure I needed to manage the OCD and finish high school.
At the boarding school, the students bullied me for being socially awkward and this played upon my social anxiety fears. I became sad and disheartened as I believed no one liked me, but after several months of work with my therapist, I realized that my worth does not depend on other people’s opinions of me. I began making progress on social issues and when I graduated from high school I was regularly interacting with other students and connecting with them through my sense of humor. After high school, I went to a group home as I did not learn life skills during my teenage years since I went to nine treatment programs for my OCD and social anxiety.
I moved into the group home during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. My social skills atrophied as I remained isolated during 2020 and the first half of 2021, and during that time my social anxiety reasserted itself as I felt lonely and lacked social interaction. In person contact resumed when I started going to college in person during the 2021 Fall semester and due to my anxiety I avoided talking with people. Though I became more confident in my social skills by working with my therapist. During the 2022 Spring semester, I began talking with other people at school and forming friendly relationships with staff at the group home. At the time, I was undecided on my major, but I knew that I wanted a career that allowed me to support a family and I possessed a desire to help other people with mental disorders. After some consideration, I realized that I would be able to do both by becoming a psychologist and as a result I decided to major in psychology. Upon deciding to become a psychologist, I began searching for my first job as I wanted to gain work experience. I found a student worker position in the disability services office of my college and I applied for the job. The employer offered me an interview and I worked on anxiety surrounding the interview with my therapist. I practiced for the interview and my anxiety caused me to think I failed the interview, but I did well as I was offered the position. I started the position at the start of the 2022 Fall semester and during the 2022 Fall semester, I continued practicing my social skills by talking with my coworkers and interacting with staff from the group home.
Right now, I am still working as a student worker, maintaining a cumulative 4.0 GPA for my college classes, and waiting for the 2023 Spring semester to start. When that begins, I plan to join a club and go out of my way to talk with other people. I will graduate after the Spring semester of 2023 with an AA degree in psychology and for the Fall semester of 2023, I will transfer to San Diego State University (SDSU) to get a bachelor’s degree in psychology. At SDSU, I plan on improving my social skills by joining clubs, doing extracurricular activities, and talking with other college students. After getting my bachelor’s degree, I will get a master’s degree and doctorate degree in psychology and gather 3,000 hours of supervised professional experience to become a psychologist. During that time, I will continue improving my social skills and I plan to begin dating so I can find a spouse and start a family with them. After becoming a psychologist, I will have learned social skills and I plan to provide therapy to other people who also have autism and join an organization which advocates for and supports people with autism.
Follow my journey on Facebook, my Facebook Fan Page, Tiktok, Youtube & Instagram.
My name is Kerry Magro, a professional speaker and best-selling author who is also on the autism spectrum. I started the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference in 2011 to help students with autism receive scholarship aid to pursue post-secondary education. Help support me so I can continue to help students with autism go to college by making a tax-deductible donation to our nonprofit here.
Autistics on Autism: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams was released on March 29, 2022 on Amazon here for our community to enjoy featuring the stories of 100 autistic adults. 100% of the proceeds from this book will go back to our nonprofit to support initiatives like our autism scholarship program. In addition, this autistic adult’s essay you just read will be featured in a future volume of this book as we plan on making this into a series of books on autistic adults.
