This guest post is by Aven Ragwar-Hayes, a young person (Aven identifies as non-binary) with autism who attends Webster University. Aven is applying for the Spring 2023 Making a Difference Autism Scholarship via the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference started by me, Kerry Magro. I was nonverbal till 2.5 and diagnosed with autism at 4, and you can read more about my organization here. Autistics on Autism: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams, our nonprofit’s new book, was released on March 29, 2022, on Amazon here for our community to enjoy featuring the stories of 100 autistic adults.
Although we looked alike at birth, my sister quickly became the taller twin, while I remained small. While my sister was cautious, I was a hyperactive and mischievous child. I would suddenly silently slip away, leaving my parents panicked and my sister, who tried to keep me out of trouble, exasperated. At one lakeside gathering, my family tried not to imagine the worst when I suddenly vanished. After much searching, I was spotted walking along the road and headed home after overhearing that it was time to leave. Another frantic search for me took place at a baby supply store and included thirty minutes of shouting my name, several overhead announcements, and some fear of kidnapping. I was this time spotted lying quietly in a crib reporting that I had not answered because I was “pretending to take a nap”. I also somehow snuck through a crowd of people on the stairs and was trying to go down a 30-foot water slide but was discovered by a parking attendant who blasted on the bull horn “Someone needs to come to get this kid!” These incidents all took place before my fourth birthday! My high energy along with the constant companionship of my talkative twin sister overshadowed my silent nature.
My sister blossomed into a child with a magnetic personality and I lived in her shadow. With no close friends, I only went to social events when my sister’s friends invited me out of pity for “the other twin”. My sister was my spokesperson and advocate. She would become frustrated at restaurants where I would rather eat food that I did not like that point out that I had received the wrong order; she would get things straightened out for me. We were in the same classes through middle school; my sister would ask teachers questions for both of us, find out when assignments were due, and even suggested to teachers what we should do for extra credit. Most of my quirks did not become obvious until high school when I grew out of my hyperactivity and was away from my sister.
I have always felt more comfortable around children younger than me. As a preteen, I quickly fell in love with the high energy of the Brewers’ full house. This family in my rural hometown has turned their home into a safe space for several foster children at any given time. I have spent numerous days and nights there supervising outdoor play, pool time, naps, meals, baths, and bedtime routines. Sometimes I’d go over to help with mountains of laundry or to babysit so Ms. Toni, the foster mother, could just take a nap. At my urging, my own family became registered to provide respite foster care for other families in the area. I have met many kids from traumatic situations, several with behavioral and developmental issues. Many of their biological parents also grew up in unstable homes. Becoming a role model and helping provide good childhood experiences for several kids makes me feel as if I play a part in breaking this cycle. I hope to use my resources to promote adoption and foster care and for my own home to be a safe place for many.
Though I have always had difficulty with social interaction, my connection with animals comes naturally. I like being able to communicate with them without words. As a child, I loved collecting books in the Weird But True! series, because of the random facts I learned about many different kinds of animals. I was always begging for a pet. However, because we lived in a small apartment, this was not a possibility. Instead, to support my interest, my mom would often take me to the local shelter, pet stores, or friends’ homes to interact with animals. I was always so fascinated and had lots of questions about them. I grew quite fond of science starting in middle school. With a growing passion for science and animals, I have decided to pursue a degree in biology to become a veterinarian. The ‘Making a Difference for Autism Scholarship’ will help me in the pursuit of this goal. Four years ago, our family finally adopted a dog, a blue heeler named Ty. Ty is now my best friend. His entrance into our family has only solidified my career goals and enhanced my love of animals in general.
I am privileged to still be playing softball in college. I strive to always show good sportsmanship and athletic excellence on my team. I also work very hard on my academic achievements to set an example for those coming after me. I plan to become a veterinarian, a field where there are few minorities. I hope to demonstrate to African-American and autistic youth that they too can achieve their goals.
Follow my journey on Facebook, my Facebook Fan Page, Tiktok, Youtube & Instagram.
My name is Kerry Magro, a professional speaker and best-selling author who is also on the autism spectrum. I started the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference in 2011 to help students with autism receive scholarship aid to pursue post-secondary education. Help support me so I can continue to help students with autism go to college by making a tax-deductible donation to our nonprofit here.
Autistics on Autism: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams was released on March 29, 2022 on Amazon here for our community to enjoy featuring the stories of 100 autistic adults. 100% of the proceeds from this book will go back to our nonprofit to support initiatives like our autism scholarship program. In addition, this autistic adult’s essay you just read will be featured in a future volume of this book as we plan on making this into a series of books on autistic adults.
