‘Your child has autism.’
This comment from my experiences has came with different emotions for different people.
Sadness of the uncertainty…
Happiness about finally knowing what the diagnosis was…
And often a neutral look where I cannot see any expression.
Over the years I’ve been contacted by thousands of parents asking for advice about their child’s autism diagnosis based on my experiences navigating the world growing up on the autism spectrum. During those times there have been many of these emotions I’ve seen from parent.
I was thinking about this recently when a mom reached out to me online telling me that her child was just diagnosed with autism. I asked her some preliminary questions such as “When were they diagnosed” and the follow up hit me when she said “my 2-year-old was diagnosed with autism today.”
This was one of the first times I ever talked to a parent the actual day of their child’s diagnosis. She told me more about how she was feeling right now. How her heart was breaking for her child. How she had seen signs for so long and how it had finally become confirmed.
Then she said I inspired her and I honestly didn’t know what to say. For her to contact me had left me at a loss for words. I took a few minutes to compose myself before following up. I than wrote this letter to the mom saying…
“Thank you for your kind words. Remember that you are never alone in this community and there are so many people who you can rely on. Many of them will have already walked similar roads to yours. Lean on these people. Listen to their stories and most importantly, cherish each and every single day that you have with your child. We are learning more about autism everyday to provide them with supports to see them progress.
I know today may have left you with so many different emotions. My parents had those same feelings when I was diagnosed with autism when I was 4. But my parents were able to get through that day and so will you. You will become a champion for your child and their greatest advocate they will ever have. I wish you nothing but the best for you and your child in the future.
Your friend, Kerry
P.S: When you feel up too it, please look through this Tool Kit from Autism Speaks called the 100 Day Kit for Newly Diagnosed Families of Young Children. This guide was created specifically for families of children ages 4 and under to make the best possible use of the 100 days following a child’s diagnosis of autism. I’m leaving the link below.
She followed up hours later with gratitude and saying that she would look into the Tool Kit. To this day I’ve been thankful to this mom for sharing her story with me. Stories like hers is why I’m an advocate today. For those other parents out there whose child is diagnosed I hope this message I shared will be helpful for you as well. If I can ever be a resource you can message me on my Facebook Fan Page here.
My hope by sharing my successes and challenges on the spectrum is that I can provide our community with resources that they can use to help their children. That’s one of my hopes that won’t be changing anytime soon.