This guest essay is by Kendall "Margie" Connerton. Kendall Connerton is an 18-year-old college student with autism who is pursuing a degree in Forensic Investigation. Once nonverbal as a young child, she has grown into someone learning to advocate for herself, embrace what makes her different, and pursue a future she once was not sure was possible. Her story is about finding her voice, taking a different path, and discovering that autism can be part of her challenges and her strengths.
For a long time, having a voice did not come easily to me. I was nonverbal until I was about two and a half years old. Of course, I do not remember everything from that age, but I know from my family that communication was one of my earliest challenges. Learning to speak did not magically make communication easy either. As I grew older, I could talk, but explaining what I was feeling, asking for help, or finding the right words when I was overwhelmed could still be difficult. Growing up autistic has taught me that having something to say and being able to say it are two very different things.
School was probably where I noticed my differences the most. Things that seemed simple for other students could take much more energy for me. Changes in routine, social situations, communication, and becoming overwhelmed could turn a normal school day into a difficult one. I also have ADHD and have experienced mental health challenges, which sometimes made focusing, staying organized, and handling stress even harder. There were times when I wondered why I could not just handle things the way everyone else seemed to.
As I got older, I became very interested in art and photography. They gave me another way to communicate. With photography, I did not always need to explain what I noticed because I could show it. I studied commercial art and photography in high school and discovered that I really enjoyed paying attention to small details, experimenting with different perspectives, and creating something that showed how I saw the world.
My high school experience did not go exactly as planned. Eventually, I reached a point where my school environment was no longer working for me. I changed schools and completed high school through an online program. At first, that felt like failure. I saw other students continuing on the path they started, while mine had changed completely. It took time for me to understand that changing my environment was not the same as giving up. I was actually advocating for myself, even though I did not recognize it that way at the time.
Today, I consider graduating from high school and becoming a college student one of my greatest accomplishments. I am now pursuing a Bachelor of Science in Forensic Investigation at Columbia Southern University. There were times growing up when college felt very far away, so being able to say that I am a college student means more to me than people might realize.
Forensic investigation might seem like an unexpected direction for someone with an art and photography background, but to me, the connection makes sense. I am interested in crime scene investigation, forensic photography, and evidence documentation. Photography taught me to slow down and really look at what is in front of me. I tend to notice details and become deeply interested in subjects that catch my attention. These are things I once thought simply made me different. Now I am beginning to understand that they can also become strengths.
That does not mean I think autism is a "superpower." I know that description works for some people, but my experience is more complicated. Autism has created real challenges in my life. There are still situations that overwhelm me. Communication can still be difficult, especially when I am stressed or anxious. I still have moments when I compare myself to other people and wonder why certain things seem easier for them.
At the same time, autism is part of who I am. I would not separate it from the way I experience the world, the things I notice, or the person I have become.
Growing up in a family where disability is a major part of our lives has also taught me that there is no single autism story. Autistic people have different abilities, communication styles, support needs, personalities, and goals. Something that is a huge accomplishment for one person may seem ordinary to someone else. That does not make the accomplishment any less important.
That is something I especially want other autistic young people to understand. Your timeline does not have to match anyone else's. You might communicate differently. You might need accommodations. You might change schools, change plans, need extra time, or ask for help. None of those things automatically mean you are incapable of reaching your goals.
I was once the little girl who could not use words to tell people what she needed. Now I am 18 years old, attending college and working toward a career that genuinely interests me. I am still learning how to advocate for myself. I am still figuring out adulthood, college, relationships, and what independence will look like for me.
I do not know exactly where I will be ten or twenty years from now. I hope I will have earned my degree and built a career in forensic investigation. I hope I am still taking photographs, creating art, and supporting the disability community. Most importantly, I hope I never forget how far I have already come.
If another autistic person reads my story and is struggling because their path looks different, I hope they remember this: different does not mean less.
Sometimes finding your own way takes longer. Sometimes you need help along the way. Sometimes the plan changes completely.
My plan certainly did.
But I am still here, still learning, still growing, and finally finding my voice.
This essay was submitted to the KFM Making a Difference scholarship program, founded by Dr. Kerry Magro to support autistic students pursuing postsecondary education. Publication does not announce a scholarship award.
