This guest essay is by Jordan Ellis (a pseudonym). Jordan reflects on growing up autistic, finding academic strengths and building friendships. His experience with a school leadership program helped prepare him for work supporting other students.
Published under a pseudonym at the applicant’s request. Identifying details have been generalized to protect privacy. The accompanying image is a stock photograph.
I was very fortunate to grow up on the spectrum. I say fortunate because life on the spectrum enriches the soul, especially while you are young. You gain a new level of empathy and understanding from the experience. While the social isolation can be awkward, and puberty is always challenging, ASD rewards you with a unique world view, and social skills that ultimately build character. It may not be perfect, but one could argue that growing up neurodivergent has more advantages depending on where you are. This is especially true if you have a support system to go along with it. When all of this is factored together, I believe that growing up on the spectrum in middle school, in particular, gave me an academic advantage, while I believe being on the spectrum in high school gave me a social advantage as I was more willing to do things that my peers were not. It also acted as a social protection against those who could potentially want to manipulate me.
In middle school, being on the spectrum became an academic advantage. When I first discovered I had autism around this time, I was perplexed but eventually understood my circumstance. I would alternate between being proud and being ashamed. My perfectionism and OCD tendencies could create anxiety at home, a not-so-pleasant experience, to say the least. But when it was properly focused on a task or a subject, I could see that I had an advantage over my peers. This enabled me to achieve honor roll in middle school. By embracing what made me unique and working hard, I was able to accomplish something that very few students were able to achieve. I could not do this on my own, however. I had trouble completing my work at first. But then, I asked my mom if there was something we could do. I was able to get modified homework that made completing my schoolwork much more manageable. This was the start to a pattern. It would take great difficulty for me to ask for help, and even more difficult to receive help. I was unable to appreciate the help that I was given at the moment, however.
What I was able to appreciate at the time was the leadership position that I was given. My school had a student leadership program. It was meant to give a select group of kids extra responsibility and give them rewards for accomplishing things. This was one of my biggest challenges early on. The aforementioned feelings of isolation are prevalent here. But the opportunity granted to me from the leadership program gave me the ability to use my empathy for productive purposes, and that set me up for one of my first jobs after school: a paraprofessional.
In high school, I have to admit that being on the spectrum gave me unique social opportunities and a unique social shield. While it may seem counterintuitive, being on the spectrum in high school actually came with a healthy social life. Due to the programs and classes for autistic students, I was able to make friends I otherwise would not have. This led to an increase in confidence that made further socializing easier. I discovered my love for spreading smiles, and I would not have been able to do so if I were not on the spectrum. Another thing was that being on the spectrum protected me in a way. Due to not having knowledge of many unwritten social rules, I was unintentionally able to protect myself from manipulative individuals. Since I was unable to be peer pressured, I was able to avoid a lot of the social pitfalls that other teens may have fallen into.
While I was far from the best socially in high school, I still had a tremendous amount of high points and good moments. One of the highest points in my high school was my mental health recovery. It was not easy. I had to have my first discussions with my guidance counselor. This was quite a difficult task. It was draining, being emotionally intimate and putting the effort into improving. But this ultimately contributed to me maintaining the little social life I had. It was crucial for understanding the social rules of my time. She was a safety net. Even though being autistic in high school was admittedly different, there is no doubt in my mind that it was safer than your typical high school experience, and it was more beneficial than a traditional high school experience.
In conclusion, growing up on the spectrum was special. While in many ways my diagnosis felt like an anchor that was weighing me down, that anchor was also a shield. It protected me from some of the crueler and more manipulative elements that were present in high school. It also shielded me from boredom when I was in middle school and enabled me to achieve highly. Overall, having autism spectrum disorder set me up immensely well for the future. I was able to develop skills that other neurotypical children would not be able to develop. While some may believe autism spectrum disorder is a hindrance or a disability, when it is paired with the right people, it can be a superpower. When the unique empathy is paired with logic, you gain a special perspective.
This essay was submitted to the KFM Making a Difference scholarship program, founded by Dr. Kerry Magro to support autistic students pursuing postsecondary education. Publication does not announce a scholarship award.
Learn about Kerry’s speaking programs or support the scholarship program.
