This guest essay is by Nathaniel Kutch. When I was diagnosed with Autism, I suffered a lot of challenges growing up. These challenges I have conquered, and I always look forward to what's next.
It was 5 days before Christmas that year. That very day, my mom had brought me, little Nathan, into this world and the baby did not cry like the average newborn would, so my parents figured something was going on. When I was 3, I was officially diagnosed with Autism. For the first few years of my life, I remained nonverbal. It was bound by my doctor, who diagnosed me, that the chances of me being able to speak were low, essentially never going to happen. My parents did not want that for me. They would feel bad if I had to live my life without being able to behave like a normal human being. Prior to the diagnosis, my parents had 3 other kids, my older siblings, who did not experience this by any means. They both raised my 3 siblings like the average good parent would. When it came to me, they made sure I was able to learn like everybody else. They wanted me to be able to speak like everyone else can.
To make my speaking dreams come true, my parents put me in Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) Therapy just to learn how to perform skills, such as saying the alphabet and properly communicating with other people, regardless if I know them or not. During my time in ABA Therapy, I had endured through a lot of skill work, just to be able to gain the ability to properly speak and communicate like the vast majority of the world already can. I went through session after session to slowly but surely gain the skills of speaking, the skill to know traits of one's character, the ability to know open & proper communication, and more to follow in the near future. I recall one of the very first times I have ever communicated through the usage of words, things I thought I would never be able to use in my lifetime. It was a classical afternoon, and I was playing this game on my Xbox 360 console that is called 'uDraw'. I managed to write the words 'I Love You' onto the screen with the usage of the game's 'GameTablet' device, which is a drawing pad-type controller specifically for the game. When I wanted to show my parents this feat, my mom cried tears of joy because I had communicated in some way, shape, or form towards more than one person.
Going through ABA Therapy for over 10 years was legitimately the best thing to have ever happened to me because if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have the skills that I have obtained nor would I be able to speak altogether. On top of ABA Therapy, after that service was no longer needed for me, I then switched to Behavioral Therapy, which is where I am now, and it is relatively the same realm to learn extra skills, including problem solving and knowing right from wrong in specific situations. That also includes overcoming anxiety during specific situations, since I tend to deal with anxiety, but I'm not officially diagnosed with it. It's needed because in school as of late, when it comes to tests or quizzes, I tend to get anxiety, which leads me to perform poorer than normal. With my Autism comes that anxiety, which can be very tough to conquer because it keeps happening on a more of a frequent basis. I've dealt with this for years on end, and it has impacted me in both positive and negative ways. It starts negatively because I fear I'm going to forget all the material learned from that time. It then turns positive because I find a way to overcome it, whether it's physically or mentally. Also to help this includes my time in Taekwondo.
In 2019, I started Taekwondo for the purpose of attachment, meaning I wanted to do it due to me seeing it online via video. Turns out, this would be one of the best things for me. When I started as a white belt, which is the lowest rank available, I was afraid to do things. As I progressed towards the highest color belt available: black, I have gained the ability to defend myself whenever necessary, to gain confidence, and to physically improve. Although I retired in 2024, this alongside a number of other activities I've done in the past, including Soccer as well as Track & Field, have all helped me physically improve while learning a number of other skills I did not know I needed until I did it.
Overall, this is what my life has looked like since I was officially diagnosed with Autism when I was 3. I have been through ABA & Behavioral Therapy, a number of activities, and all of them have taught me skills I did and did not know that I needed until I did them, including communication, acknowledging certain behaviors as right and wrong depending on the situation, overcoming obstacles whenever they appear, and many others. I am forever grateful for everybody who has helped me learn the skills I have been given over the years. If my parents did not get me into therapy for helping me learn what I now know, I would not be where I am today if it was not for them.
This essay was submitted to the KFM Making a Difference scholarship program, founded by Dr. Kerry Magro to support autistic students pursuing postsecondary education. Publication does not announce a scholarship award.
