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A Letter Before Me for My Parents

This guest post is by Reagan McSweeney a graduating high school senior preparing for college at  Marshall University this fall. She plans to major in the Arts and Psychology and help other girls on the spectrum. Reagan feels she can make a difference in the lives of others and her parents feel she has done just that. She loves drawing and flamingos and believes the saying “In a world of pigeons be a flamingo.

McSweeney is applying for the Spring 2024 Making a Difference Autism Scholarship via the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference started by me, Kerry Magro. I was nonverbal till 2.5 and diagnosed with autism at 4, and you can read more about my organization here. Autistics on Autism: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams, our nonprofit’s new book, was released on March 29, 2022, on Amazon here for our community to enjoy featuring the stories of 100 autistic adults.

Dear Mom and Dad,
In October 2005, you will be blessed with a baby girl you will choose to name Reagan. I probably do not need to tell you this, but being a first-time parent is going to be challenging. However, I must tell you that there is something about your daughter, about me, that you must know. I will be diagnosed with autism at age two.

Autism Spectrum Disorder can present itself in diverse ways. The first thing with me is impaired communication. I develop normally, even say a few words but then lose them all by age two. You have concerns and autism is dismissed at first thinking it may be aphasia, auditory or sensory processing disorder. Autism in girls looks different from boys. You will be scared but I will not be nonverbal forever. However, I still need to communicate my needs to you. So, you will have someone teach me sign language. I will learn the basic signs; eat, sleep, drink. I will have speech therapy throughout elementary school as well. It contains fun games that help me regain my speech and speak better. They will even order me a communication device but thankfully, I will never need to use it. You will try many things to help with my speech such as diets and vitamins but do not worry it will be okay. I start to talk again at age five. I also will not respond to my name sometimes or give eye contact. At times, I will have meltdowns because I cannot communicate with you. I want you to know I see you, I hear you and know that I love you. Along with speech, there are also some motor challenges for us.

People can also have repetitive behaviors and sensitivities. The second thing to mention with me is sensory issues and low muscle tone. I need occupational therapy for a while as I learn basic life skills and interact with the environment. One issue is potty training. For years you will try to teach me with no luck. I have sensitivities to loud sounds and most food but we persevere. Mom and dad, I know this can seem like a lot but it will get better. When I start kindergarten, I have issues with fine motor skills such as writing and using scissors. A therapist will give me a weighted pencil and eventually I write just fine. Growing up and even until adulthood, I will have random energy bursts, a sudden urge to hop, run, skip, and zoom both inside and out. You get me a small trampoline inside my room I jump on when that urge pops up. It is good exercise and the phrase “We’re going to have to replace those bands,” is a common phrase around the house.

More serious things result from my autism. I may wander off at times which can be very scary for the both of you. You will need to take precautions. There are moments where I forget to eat when you two are not around. I am not deliberately trying to. It is only forgetfulness and will need reminders. I also have an odd relationship with sleep. When I am young, I will sleep a lot after school. The daycare center has a bean bag that I will sleep on so much that you get me tested for low iron. I will continue having problems falling asleep but it will get better. My main problem I have is making new friends. I do not talk much to others and find it hard to start a conversation. As imagined, I am considered a quiet, introverted person. I make friends from parental connections, interests, or finding connections because of a group project at school. Sure, I do not have many friends, however, I think that the friends I do have are extremely good and real keepers. You do all you can as parents for growth and social interaction through the years such as special needs cheer, softball, soccer and band. I will not have all the wonderful things in life without you.
I want to thank you in advance, for what my future looks like even with autism. Thank you for being there when I stop talking, thank you for helping me with accommodations and thank you for having the unconditional love that all parents should have. My future is bright! I consider my life great and I am incredibly happy. Sure life is life and we have our down days, but I am happy to spend my life with this family and I do not know what my life would be like without the both of you. I am in the top of my graduating class and planning for college. I love to make small comics of my interests along with characters and stories. I want to make people happy like the happiness I have in my life. We need more happiness in the world. I cannot wait for you two to watch me grow and see where our autism journey takes us. Hope you love this life as much as I do.

Follow my journey on Facebook, my Facebook Fan Page, Tiktok, Youtube & Instagram.

What happens to children with autism, when they become adults? | Kerry Magro | TEDxMorristown (youtube.com)

My name is Kerry Magro, a professional speaker and best-selling author who is also on the autism spectrum. I started the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference in 2011 to help students with autism receive scholarship aid to pursue post-secondary education. Help support me so I can continue to help students with autism go to college by making a tax-deductible donation to our nonprofit here.

Autistics on Autism: Stories You Need to Hear About What Helped Them While Growing Up and Pursuing Their Dreams was released on March 29, 2022 on Amazon here for our community to enjoy featuring the stories of 100 autistic adults. 100% of the proceeds from this book will go back to our nonprofit to support initiatives like our autism scholarship program. In addition, this autistic adult’s essay you just read will be featured in a future volume of this book as we plan on making this into a series of books on autistic adults.

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Kerry Magro

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I used to have severe nonverbal autism. Today I’m a full-time professional speaker & best-selling author and autism-film consultant.

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I started a nonprofit to educate on neurodiversity and help give students with autism scholarships to go to college.

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